How to have a funny evening of skits, old film clips

NO WONDER this country is in such a mess. No one's making movies to show in health class anymore.

Impact Theatre's annual assortment of short plays, "Impact Briefs 7: The How-To Show," opened last weekend at La Val's Subterranean Theatre in Berkeley. And in addition to the usual hip, irreverent and fun sketches, there are some fantastic presentations from the audio-visual closet.

Having harnessed the necessary projection technology in a nearly impossible basement theater, Impact splits up the plays with clips from 1950s propaganda aimed at teens as well as newly minted "How- To" filmstrips devised by Dave Dyson.

The '50s clips are hilarious. The first one is all about Marian, a hapless girl who just can't seem to get invited to the right parties. Hers is a stern lesson about social acceptance and how life without parties simply isn't worth living.

We also see shiny young people getting a lesson (from mother, naturally) about how proper nutrition leads to proper elimination: "Fruit helps you to good toilet practices," the narrator intones.

Dyson's fantastic filmstrips combine live narration with wonderfully inane topics. The best one, "How to Survive Being Stranded on a Deserted Traffic Island," depicts a nearly savage man stuck on a Shattuck Avenue island he has to share with a "native" homeless person.

Other Dyson instructional lessons include "How to Avoid Drowning in Two Inches of Water" and "How to Survive a Goldfish Attack," both of which have laugh-out-loud moments.

The live actors fare nearly as well as their filmed counterparts.

This year's plays, all directed with a sure comic hand by Impact veteran Alyssa Bostwick, are unusually sharp and intelligent.

Rich Orloff's "How to Write a Play: The Rooftop Lesson" offers an informative dissection of dramatic tension. The haughty lecturer (Sarah Eismann) controls the action with a clicker as David Fierro attempts to jump off a building and Gabriel Raffaelli tries to stop him.

Eismann has the power to rewind and re-write as the mood strikes her, and offers constant criticism. A choice sample is: "We don't go to the theater to hear petty, puerile antagonism. That's why we have families."

Wayne Rawley, who stepped into the cast on opening weekend when Cheshire Dave had to step out, contributes the play "How to Ask a Scary Question," which dares to explore serious relationship issues through a discussion of zombie movies.

Astonishingly, with the help of actors Pete Caslavka and Erin Carter, he succeeds admirably.

Andrew Shemin's "How to Order a Fun Dinner in a Fun Restaurant" uses the word "fun" ironically as a couple is forced to use ridiculous menu language in an oppressive chain restaurant.

And Debra Schifrin's "How to Teach Math" is an extremely funny monologue delivered by Caslavka about a college math teacher forced to teach a seminar on sex and dating. Reflecting his own pathetic love life, the lecture incorporates game theory, imaginary numbers, chaos theory and the Australian definition of third base.

Rawley's "How to Gain a Controlling Interest" is the best of a strong bunch as the entire cast assembles for an important negotiation. The men, wearing ties and business attire, are actually 8-year-old boys who are considering a proposal put on the table by their executive director. And that proposal is this: We start liking girls.

Turning children into executives is a brilliant touch, and Rawley knows exactly when to end the sketch before it runs out of steam.

The virtue of brevity can also be applied to the entire "How-To Show," which clocks in at nearly two hours. That's a lot of instruction and a lot of laughs in a very short, very enjoyable space of time.

You can e-mail Chad Jones at cjones@angnewspapers.com or call (925) 416-4853.

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