A hilariously brief history of alternative comedy

Twenty five years ago

Alternative to ... anyone who tells jokes at working men's clubs while wearing a tuxedo, and then spends the morning playing golf.

What to do: Buy a can of hairspray. Go to the Comedy Store. Release a single. Try not to be racist, but everyone likes a joke about foreigners, and some sexism and homophobia never did any harm.

Who tickled our funny bone: Rowan Atkinson (above), Billy Connolly, Tracey Ullman, Jasper Carrott.

Shows that made us laugh: Not The Nine O'Clock News, Three Of A Kind.

Sample joke: I'm not saying my mother-in-law's fat, but, hey, who bothers to get married these days?

Ben Elton (right) is ... hoping to write sketches for The Two Ronnies, and performing stand-up at The Comedy Store.

Five years ago

Alternative to ... all those laddish, football-supporting blokes from the Nineties.

What to do: Choose the most bizarre, horrifying or miserable subject, and then act it out so naturalistically that viewers might think they were watching a documentary if it weren't so depressing. Go to rehab. Publish a children's book. Don't be racist, sexist or homophobic - just virulently misanthropic.

Who tickled our funny bone: Chris Morris, Armando Iannucci, Simon Pegg (above).

Shows that made us laugh: The League Of Gentlemen, I'm Alan Partridge, The Royle Family, Big Train, The Office.

Sample joke: I'm not saying my mother-in-law's fat, but if she is it's because she's got a genetic disorder called Prader-Willi syndrome. It's actually very serious.

Ben Elton is ... co-writing a musical with Queen and performing stand-up for the Queen.

Twenty years ago

Alternative to ... every second of comedy that predates the 1980s, but Benny Hill and 'The Good Life' in particular.

What to do: Either be a left-wing firebrand, or create a character parodying a left-wing firebrand. Put on a sparkly suit and/ or a pair of Doc Martens. Hang out with miners. Don't be racist, sexist or homophobic.

Who tickled our funny bone: Harry Enfield, Rik Mayall & Adrian Edmondson, French & Saunders, Alexei Sayle (above), Julian Clary

The shows that made us laugh: The Young Ones, Saturday Live, The Comic Strip Presents, Girls On Top

Sample joke: I'm not saying my mother-in-law's fat, because that would objectify her, but she goes around stealing schoolchildren's milk rations, so she probably is.

Ben Elton is ... co-writing exciting sitcoms, and performing exciting stand-up.

Now

Alternative to ... all those gloomy weirdos who don't make it clear where the punchline's supposed to be.

What to do: Lighten up. Doing stuff in character is all very well, but remember you're a entertainer, so there's nothing wrong with silly voices and prosthetic make-up. Publish an autobiography. Be sexist, racist and homophobic, but don't worry, it's all ironic.

Who tickled our funny bone: Little Britain, Russell Brand (above), Ricky Gervais.

The shows that made us laugh: Little Britain, Mock The Week, Peep Show

Sample joke: I'm not saying my mother-in-law's fat, but look at me dressed up as a fat mother-in-law!

Ben Elton is ... writing a sitcom about being a parent, and performing stand-up on ITV while sitting next to a model.

Fifteen years ago

Alternative to ... all the shouting and swearing that went on a few years ago. Alternative is the new mainstream, so it's about time you smartened up and reminded everyone how well-educated you are.

What to do: Get your own sketch show/ sitcom/panel game/talk show/ all of the above. Go to the Groucho Club. Write a novel.

Who tickled our funny bone: Clive Anderson, Vic Reeves (above), Rob Newman. Plus all those from five years ago.

Shows that made us laugh: A Bit Of Fry & Laurie, Have I Got News For You, Whose Line Is It Anyway, Mary Whitehouse Experience

Sample joke: I'm not saying my mother-in-law's fat, but I'm going to improvise a monologue, in the style of Dylan Thomas.

Ben Elton is ... writing environmentalist novels and West End plays, and his own BBC stand-up series.

The future

Alternative to ... Who can tell?

What to do: Film your own montage of stand-up, sketches and animation, and then post it on MySpace. Go to a club you've set up yourself. Hang out with your Facebook friends online. Publish a blog.

Who will tickle our funny bone: Mark Watson, Josie Long (above), Tim Key.

The shows that might make us laugh: TV? TV is so 2007! Switch onto YouTube and comedybox instead.

Sample joke: I'm not saying my mother-in-law's fat, but here she is saying she's fat herself, live via the webcam.

Ben Elton is ... writing a sitcom about how tricky teenaged daughters are, and perfecting "kneel-down comedy" as he accepts a knighthood.

Ten years ago

Alternative to ... all those earnest Old Labour clever-clogs from the Eighties.

What to do: Forget about a little bit of politics - everyone knows the Tories are on their way out. Do some observational gags about sharing a flat with a lager lout. Go to the pub. Hang out with Britpop bands. Be sexist, but only ironically.