Get off your horse and fix that split infinitive

The cost of getting manuscripts typed up in medieval Oxford was something shocking. Or at least so you might judge from Johann Hari's Thursday column.

Arguing that students should not be made to attend lectures, he wrote: "It's also necessary to ask why such importance is placed on lectures anyway. They were introduced in the late Middle Ages only because it was not possible to affordably type lecture notes for students."

In addition, you will have noticed that "to affordably type" is a split infinitive. Myself, I don't mind them, but they are a source of anguish to a great many people - including, crucially, the editor of this newspaper. So they are best avoided.

Hold it right there, pardner! Last Saturday Robert Fisk had some fun with his latest arrival at an American airport: "And so, I passed through the barrier, saddled up my white Palomino in the parking lot, and rode off towards the crescent Islamic moon that hung over Chicago." A fine scene, but impossible in one respect: there are no white Palominos. A Palomino is a gold-coloured horse with a lighter mane and tail.

If you've got it, flout it: There are some words the mere appearance of which should prompt editors to make sure they are being used correctly - because they rarely are. This is from Thursday's spread about romantic fiction: "Becky Sharp was the Madonna of her day, flaunting tradition and challenging hypocritical sexual mores." It is perfectly possible to flaunt tradition - to make a proud display of it. The British monarchy exists to do exactly that. But that is not what Becky Sharp did. She ostentatiously defied and disregarded tradition - that is to say, she flouted it.

I don't believe it: The modish use of "incredible" to mean "good" reached a new height of absurdity on Monday's fashion page. The blurb introducing a piece about the designer Hamish Morrow said: "He uses revolutionary fabrics to create incredible clothes."

And immediately below was a pullout quote (that is a quotation set in large type in the middle of the text to break up the greyness of it): "I hope my new work is seen as credible." Make your minds up, folks: are we to believe these frocks or not?

I don't see it: The same piece contained a wonderfully nutty use of "saw" for "was the occasion of".

"But it was a newsagent in Durban where Morrow leafed through collections of magazines that saw him leave South Africa for Central Saint Martin's."

What a touching scene: the fervent young would-be couturier stepping aboard the plane for London and his destiny' and on the tarmac his old friend the newsagent, wiping away a tear and waving a valedictory copy of The Face...

Daft headline of the week: The ents of Fangorn Forest have somehow made their way to California. A report last Saturday about giant redwoods was headed: "World's tallest trees tracked down". The boring trees around where I live just stand still. They don't move around and leave tracks, so although you might find them you could never track them down.

Metaphor madness: It is always political writing that goes right off the scale. This is Tuesday's report from the TUC. "The attempt to paper over the cracks in Labour's civil war looked likely to fail as public service unions set a collision course with the Government over the National Health Service." Those 31 words take us all the way from a battlefield, with some hapless decorators dodging cannonballs as they struggle with wallpaper and paste, to the high seas, where the ageing but still majestic battleships of the trade union movement are heading to intercept the sleeker and more modern vessels of the Blairite fleet.

Journalese: A feature article on Tuesday recalled the life and violent death of the rapper Tupac Shakur. After the shooting, "an ambulance rushed Tupac to hospital". It is always good to be told that ambulances "rush" injured people to hospital. We might otherwise make the disturbing assumption that they go at a leisurely pace, the crew stopping off for a Chinese carry-out on the way.

Copyright 2006 Independent Newspapers UK Limited
Provided by ProQuest Information and Learning Company. All rights Reserved.