Living the paradox: female athletes negotiate femininity and muscularity

Sex Roles: A Journal of Research,  March, 2004  by Vikki Krane,  Precilla Y.L. Choi,  Shannon M. Baird,  Christine M. Aimar,  Kerrie J. Kauer

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      In sports I don't really think about my body that much. Or when
      like I'm in my uniform and everything, it's pretty much, it's
      irrelevant, you know? I think that people look at us and how good
      do we play our sports, but when we're out [socially], you know,
      like just using like chest size for example. I like feel really
      self-conscious about it, like if you see the girls that have big
      chests and little stomachs, and do that sort of stuff. And when
      you're out at that scene, out of the athletic scene, you know
      you're just a person that doesn't really have that good of a
      body.... Well I don't really care that I don't have big boobs, I
      can still throw a ball way harder than you can (laughs) you know
      what I mean, but I definitely, I mean I can see a difference
      between the two settings. I think about that a lot actually.
      (Softball Player 2)

Thus, the athletes constantly juxtaposed their athletic behaviors with "being a girl" (i.e., being feminine). Gender and femininity, therefore, have to be put aside in order to focus on the task at hand (i.e., sport). This may not seem surprising or important until one takes into account why gender is being put aside--because sport is not consistent with hegemonic femininity.

Clothes

Attempts to find clothes that fit their muscular bodies were a constant reminder that the athletes were different from nonathletic women. The following interaction expresses this concern:

Volleyball Player 1: I hate shopping for pants and also when I shop for
  jeans, because my thighs are bigger (laughter) and it's from
  squatting, like if I didn't squat [an exercise with weights for
  strengthening leg muscles] I could probably fit into like three sizes
  smaller. But it's frustrating because like here I am fitting into the
  size like 12, 14, whatever when I never used to be that before I came
  to college.
Gymnast 2: It's so frustrating to go shopping for any type of clothing
  because, like I'd have to have it too big or like, my size, just can't
  get into shirts and stuff like that, especially jeans. It's just so
  tight like, around your thighs.
Distance Runner 2: And your quads ...
Gymnast 2: And then the rest is just loose. Like you can be sitting down
  and be bulging out you know. You have no control over it. So ...
Volleyball Player 1: My roommates are athletes too. One plays softball,
  and the two other ones play volleyball, and last year they were
  talking about opening a 'Big Buns and Big Guns' clothing store for
  athletes (laughter) because, like we have bigger, like arms and then
  bigger butts. (laughter) We don't fit in normal clothes.

Not only was finding clothes problematic, but the women were not happy with the way they looked in skirts and dresses because of their muscular bodies. Their descriptions of themselves reiterate their other status (i.e., not a normal woman). For example, "I've got huge arms, and like you like wear a dress or you dress up or something and you feel like a monkey" (Gymnast 1) and "[in a dress] you don't look like a girl" (Distance Runner 2). Distance Runner 1 remarked: "It's kinda like an oxymoron, you're like you have these little skirts on and then you have this body. And it looks kind of funny." She later added: