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Counseling issues with gay and lesbian adolescents

Adolescence, Winter, 1996 by Janet H. Fontaine, Nancy L. Hammond

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Hetrick and Martin (1987), in one of the few studies on the types of problems presented by self-identified gay and lesbian youth, found the major reason for seeking service was a sense of extensive isolation - from family, social networks, and peers. This isolation was magnified by the lack of access to accurate information about homosexuality. The problem may be compounded for adolescents of color, with the resurgence of belief in some segments of minority communities that all gay people are white. Indeed, the presentation of gay issues by activists within the gay community often highlights the concerns of Caucasian middle-class gay and lesbian adults. Young African-American, Native American, Asian American, Hispanic and other minority adolescents face identity barriers on many fronts simultaneously.

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Family problems were the second most frequent area of concern cited by Hetrick and Martin. Difficulties ranged from parental rejection to violence and expulsion from the home. Coming out to parents is perhaps one of the more serious issues in the coming out process. Counselors should assist adolescents in fully exploring their reasons for coming out to parents before making a decision to act. Such questions as availability of alternative resources, parents' moral views, motivation for coming out at the time, and the current emotional climate at home, should be addressed. The adolescent will also need to be aware that patience may be required as many parents will have to undergo their own "coming out" process with the information shared by their child.

Drug use was evidenced by 5% of the Hetrick and Martin sample, emotional problems such as depression and anxiety in approximately 19%, and suicide attempts by 20% of those seeking advice. It is interesting to note that suicide completions and attempts by adolescents decrease with age (Bell & Weinberg, 1978; Saghir & Robins, 1973; Hetrick & Martin, 1987). This decrease is thought to be related to the increased freedom of movement and attendant diminished sense of isolation which occurs for older teens.

Coming Out Issues

For the adolescent coming to terms with the fact that he or she might be gay or lesbian, the process of accepting oneself is intertwined with the decision to inform others. Professionals should be thoughtful of the potential costs and consequences of an adolescent's decision to come out to others, particularly parents. There seem to be few teens for whom the decision to come out is not a major life disruption. Parents may have a range of reactions, with negative reactions common, but not a certainty in all families. Even when parents are apparently supportive, they may have little patience for the long periods of identity uncertainty and exploration of many adolescents, and may cut off avenues for the heart-to-heart conversations which their lesbian and gay children want. Some parents demonstrate what appears to be an almost obligatory initial negative reaction based on religious doctrine, only to become far more accepting later. Overall, the decision to come out to parents often provokes a family crisis of some sort.

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Counseling issues with gay and lesbian adolescents

Adolescence, Winter, 1996 by Janet H. Fontaine, Nancy L. Hammond

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