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Counseling issues with gay and lesbian adolescents

Adolescence, Winter, 1996 by Janet H. Fontaine, Nancy L. Hammond

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Stage 4, identity acceptance, involves increasing contact with other gays and lesbians and developing a more clearly delineated homosexual identity. Finding other gay and lesbian teens is difficult at best for many adolescents. Those in rural areas often find the social isolation nearly unbearable. Many of these young people feel a need to leave home and school and move to an urban area simply to make contact with other gay people. Those adolescents fortunate enough to have access to support groups and/or gay social events often heighten their dual lifestyle existence, being heterosexual publicly and bi- or homosexual privately as the fear of being "discovered" permeates their existence. The issues of "who am I?" and "how do I fit in?", however, have begun to be addressed.

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Stages 5 and 6, identity pride and identity synthesis, move the individual from a "them and us" mentality into a realization and acceptance of the similarities between the heterosexual and homosexual worlds. Strong identification with the gay subculture and devaluation of heterosexuality and many of its institutions (Stage 5) gives way to less rigid, polarizing views and more inclusive and cooperative behavior (Stage 6). Table 1 provides an overview of these stages with suggested counseling interventions.

These latter two stages, pride and synthesis, are particularly difficult for school-aged adolescents to achieve, given the basic reality of their life circumstances. In this regard, lesbian and gay adolescents have the same needs for economic, physical, and emotional dependence and nurturance from parents as do heterosexual adolescents.

Placing a gay or lesbian identity into appropriate perspective, as a part of an overall total identity, is made particularly difficult for several reasons. Society's focus on the sexual behavior component of a homosexual orientation, excluding feelings of attraction, love, companionship, and subcultural mores, encourages the perpetuation of inaccurate sexual myths and stereotypes. For example, the myths that anonymous sexual liaisons are the only recourse for gay males, or that lesbians are a danger to children, derive from an exclusionary focus on the sexual behavior component of homosexual orientation. Adolescence in general is a time of natural heightened interest in sexuality - for both heterosexual and homosexual youth. The adolescent can easily be overwhelmed with an amplified version of sex as the primary component in a homosexual's life, versus one of the many aspects of identity.

Sexual Orientation: More than Sexual Behavior

Adolescent mental health workers and school guidance counselors have the opportunity to make a substantial positive impact in the lives of teens uncertain about their sexual orientation simply by conveying the reality that orientation goes beyond sexual impulse or behavior. For example, a confused adolescent may believe that a single sexual contact of any sort defines sexual identity. Appropriate counseling encourages the young person to consider the meaning of daydreams, affectional patterns, unexpressed physical attractions, and emotional responses in sorting through issues of sexual orientation.

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Counseling issues with gay and lesbian adolescents

Adolescence, Winter, 1996 by Janet H. Fontaine, Nancy L. Hammond

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