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Counseling issues with gay and lesbian adolescents

Adolescence, Winter, 1996 by Janet H. Fontaine, Nancy L. Hammond

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Counseling interventions at this stage could assist the teen to redefine differentness, discourage premature labeling, and attempt to normalize feelings. Denial is a primary defense at this stage. The teen may attempt to prematurely foreclose on the development process if not provided an accepting environment in which to explore the possibility of gay, lesbian or bisexual identity.

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Identity comparison, Stage 2, begins with accepting the potential that homosexual feelings are a part of the self. The realization that "I might be homosexual" may cross the teen's mind. Alternately, a re-framing of same-gender sexual attractions as a special case (it just happens to be this one person I am attracted to and he/she happens to be the same sex) may occur. The idea that "I may be bisexual" (which permits the potential for heterosexuality) can also be a manifestation of Stage 2 identity development. It is also at this level that "This is a 'phase' I'm going through" may surface. For some youth, there is a personal responsibility void where the cognitive stance is just "being born" that way (Cass, 1979). These strategies are developed to reduce the incongruence between same-sex attractions and a view of one's self as heterosexual.

The task at this stage of identity comparison, according to Cass, is to deal with social alienation as the teen becomes aware of his or her difference from larger society, experiences a sense of not belonging and the isolation of perceiving himself or herself as an isolated case; that is, the only one "like this." Hersch (1991) presents a poignant interview with a 14-year-old girl at this stage of development which underlines the emotional turmoil. She quotes Sarah, "I don't understand what is going on with me . . . I want to kill myself. I'm scared of who I am. There is no one else like me. It's not normal to be gay" (p. 38). Counselors dealing with clients at this developmental level can explore their fears and anxieties, attempt to identify role models and, where possible, locate healthy and appropriate support systems such as peer support groups or drop-in centers.

Identity tolerance, Stage 3, is marked by such statements as "I probably am homosexual." The individual has moved further from a heterosexual identity and more toward a homosexual one. This may include seeking out the company of homosexuals to meet psychosocial needs. This movement helps dispel the sense of confusion and turmoil of prior stages, but creates a greater gulf in the comparison between self and others. For the adolescent who experiences a heightened need for peer approval and acceptance, this can be a dramatically trying period. At the time when merely failing to acquire an opposite-gender girlfriend or boyfriend or wearing the wrong kind of clothing can be decisive in falling from heterosexual grace, the homosexual teen is forced to scrutinize every action to maintain his or her secret. Adolescents attempting to dissipate the dissonance of identities may adopt an asexual role or practice covert homosexual behavior, which is particularly dangerous given the impulsive nature of sexual contacts and the high incidence of HIV infection among adolescent males. Positive gay experiences are crucial to developing a degree of self-acceptance (vs. self-hatred) during this period. Contacting other gay, lesbian, and/or bisexual people becomes a more pressing issue to alleviate a sense of isolation and alienation. Counseling interventions at this stage can assist in interpreting negative experiences, developing interpersonal skills, addressing fears of exposure, facilitating decision making on coming out, and offering insight on the identity formation process as well as resource information.

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Counseling issues with gay and lesbian adolescents

Adolescence, Winter, 1996 by Janet H. Fontaine, Nancy L. Hammond

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