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Counseling issues with gay and lesbian adolescents

Adolescence, Winter, 1996 by Janet H. Fontaine, Nancy L. Hammond

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Estimates are that 10% of the population may be gay and lesbian which means one of every five families has a gay or lesbian child (Dahlheimer & Feigal, 1991). Hence, the population directly affected by the issues of gay and lesbian teens becomes geometrically larger, including parents, siblings, and other relatives who may experience the emotional consequences of maintaining family secrecy over having a homosexual family member.

Gay, Lesbian, and Bisexual Identity Formation

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It is apparent that gay men and lesbians do not suddenly "appear" in adulthood. Many more adolescents will question their sexual identity than will actually come to define themselves as gay, lesbian or bisexual. The task of differentiating and providing meaning to sexual feelings and experiences during adolescence becomes a confusing one. Compared to the "development" of a heterosexual identity, a norm requiring little conscious thought or effort, the attempt to develop a healthy and viable bi- or homosexual identity is a draining, secretive, anxiety-producing, and lonely task for adolescents. Hetrick and Martin (1987) found that the primary presenting problem for gay and lesbian adolescents was one of both social and emotional isolation and loneliness which, at times, initiated sexual involvement with same sex adults simply from a need for some type of social contact.

It is highly likely that the process of claiming a gay or lesbian identity may not be completed during adolescence. This process also may not be attached to demonstrative homosexual behavior for many youth. At the same time, due to the lack of a supportive discernment process, many gay and lesbian youth believe they have to directly experience a same-sex encounter to prove to themselves that they are gay. Such beliefs put lesbian and gay teens at considerable risk for inappropriate sexual contact.

Evidence supports both gender and age differences in how males and females come to know they are gay (Bell, Weinberg, & Hammersmith, 1981; Gorsiorek, 1988; Remafedi, 1987b). For both, however, the self-identification occurs over a long period characterized by extreme emotional turmoil. There are several models of this process of sexual identity formation which can assist the clinician in understanding the sequence of this self-labeling or coming-out process (Cass, 1979; Lewis, 1984; Troiden, 1989). All share the commonality that each stage moves toward an increasing level of acceptance of a homosexual identity. A progression from confusion, through exploration, to synthesis or integration is outlined in all three.

In the most well known of these models, Cass (1979) identifies six stages of identity formation: Confusion, comparison, tolerance, acceptance, pride, and synthesis. In Stage 1, identity confusion, heterosexual identity is called into question and the teen wonders "Could I be homosexual?" Gay and lesbian information or awareness becomes personally relevant, and the heterosexual assumption begins to be undermined. At this stage, confusion is great and the adolescent may seek information on homosexuality, a difficult task given the inaccessibility of such information. For example, school librarians often report that, if permitted, books on gays and lesbians in their libraries often "disappear" from the shelves without being checked out.

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Counseling issues with gay and lesbian adolescents

Adolescence, Winter, 1996 by Janet H. Fontaine, Nancy L. Hammond

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