Searching For Connection: A New Look At Teenaged Runaways

Adolescence,  Fall, 1998  by Laurie Schaffner

• E-mail
• Print
• Link

Amy

Amy, 14, was from a low-income family. She said she had been physically abused by her mother. She was at the shelter awaiting a dispositional hearing on a charge of possession of a stolen vehicle.

Many runaways reach the social service or juvenile probation system by way of police stations or hospital emergency rooms. Stealing, selling drugs, and prostitution are common crimes. However, untreated physical, sexual, and emotional abuse are often at the root of these behaviors. Of the runaways sampled here, 77% reported having been physically abused and 35% sexually abused in their families of origin.

Amy's story reflected this trend. She said that she ran away from home because of fights over the friends she was seeing, especially her 18-year-old boyfriend, who her mother wanted to have arrested for statutory rape: "I ran away from home because I have a lot of problems with my mom--we fight a lot. And we get in physical fights, but I don't hit her because she's my mom."

Gretchen

Gretchen, 16, was from a working-class family. She reported severe physical abuse by both her father and mother. Like Amy, she had the dilemma of not wanting to hit her mother, even when being attacked:

"She was choking me ... but I did not hit her back. I called her a name and that was it. When I tried calling the cops, she hung up the phone and started punching me. After she was done hitting me, she yelled at me for an hour." Rather than physically defend herself, her solution was to run away.

Emerson (1981) describes "last resort" responses, which are undertaken when all other possible remedies have been exhausted. Running away, in a sense, is a Last resort for teenagers in troubled families. [1] There may be other alternatives, but the participants cannot envision them. Gretchen confided that when she arrived at the shelter, she was frightened by her new surroundings, worried about what was going to happen to her, and apprehensive about being "in the system." She confessed that she was "scared to death," adding, "but I kept telling myself, anything is better than being at home!"

Isabel

Isabel, 16, had a violent, "old-fashioned" father. Though her mother tried to intervene, Isabel ultimately was forced to flee. Isabel's files indicated that she had miscarried due to physical altercations in her family. According to Isabel, "A father should be trustable. In my house, when I come home, I get yelled at--first thing I do when I walk in the door. I used to slam the door in his face, I used to swear at him--I didn't care. See, when I was pregnant, my dad got drunk and came home and started hitting me...and he tried to throw me down the stairs!"

Conflicting Emotions

Home for youths such as Isabel, Amy, and Gretchen was unbearable. Nevertheless, most reported that they loved their parents--and at the same time were angry at them. Thus, they struggled to reconcile these powerful but conflicting emotions, as well as to refrain from striking back.

One popular conception of runaway teenagers is that they are incorrigible delinquents. However, the files and personal accounts of those at the shelter revealed that many had attempted to deal with difficult family situations. They did not want to run away, and did so only as a last resort. Amy, Gretchen, and Isabel offer a picture of youths struggling not to run away.