Celibacy today: mystery, myth, and miasma

It was from sexual purity that the priesthood was believed to derive its
power.
--Mayke de Jong (1).

Celibacy, popularly understood, is the state of non-marriage and/or the abstinence from sexual activity. (1) The voluntary sacrifice of all sexual pleasure is an extreme form of religious asceticism when it is undertaken for a lifetime or even for very extended periods.

Celibacy is unlike other modes of asceticism--fasting, sleep deprivation, endurance of extreme temperatures, or even poverty--in that sexual pleasure or activity is not necessary for individual survival as are some measure of sustenance, recuperation, and protection from the elements. These modes of controlling natural desires have often been used as adjunctive, supportive, and protective of the dedicated celibate's pursuit of his or her goal. Despite the fact that the ideal and the practice of celibacy exist in many religious traditions, it is not well understood.

Celibacy is one mode of coming to terms with one's sexuality. While sexual desire is a natural drive it also raises natural resistances. Self-control or self-mastery is one of the essential developmental life tasks. Athletic, intellectual, or military conquests as well as religious idealism all depend for success on the drive to conquer one's self and modulate natural desires. Sigmund Freud insisted that psychoanalysis could take place only in an atmosphere of deprivation. Self-knowledge and insight are best gained not in acting out one's feelings, but restraining action in favor of understanding. Religious contemplative life has incorporated this belief for centuries. This conviction about the value of restraint is a cornerstone of celibate motivation and achievement. The implications of this truth about the worth and need to control human "passions" far exceed the goal of personal growth and insight. Morality is not possible without the ability to restrain impulses and modulate and redirect desires. Culture and society in order to exist and flourish depend on an understanding and practice of restraint.

It is difficult, however, to get the real life story of a person who claims complete and perpetual celibacy. Autobiographical communications about celibacy are rare and perhaps not completely possible. The potential advantage of a first-hand view of celibacy is to have the celibate person's own vision of a relatively rare lifestyle. But whether the personal witness to celibacy is spoken or written, it is likely to be affected by the inclination to distance the image and ideal of celibacy from the person him or her self. One explanation for the scarcity of such accounts is the obvious necessity to deal with the concomitant sexual history involved in the development of the celibate decision and process beyond a terse admission similar to that of St. Francis of Assisi, who confessed he lived a "wild youth" prior to his conversion at seventeen years of age. Two prominent examples of celibate autobiography are those of St. Augustine and Mahatma Gandhi. Augustine's Confessions is a world classic and the frank account he gives of his sexual life prior to his conversion led theologian Margaret Miles to conclude that the book reflects the admission of a sexual addiction. (1.a) Gandhi devotes two chapters of his autobiography to explaining his discovery of and dedication to the process of celibacy, or Brahmacharya. (1.b) He does not shy away from recounting his sexual development and his celibate failures.

Any authentic autobiography of celibacy must fulfill certain criteria as these do. It must reflect basic elements of celibacy that include the following: First, such a narrative should record one's developmental relationship patterns, many of which precede any celibate intention. Nevertheless, early experiences vitally influence a person's eventual sexual/celibate pattern of adjustment. Family background, education, ethnic and cultural fixes, character traits, sexual preferences, unique talents, loves and hates all come into play. In addition, self-knowledge is fundamental to any successful celibate pursuit.

Second, celibacy is dynamic; it is a process of internalization and actualization of the celibate ideal from intention to achievement. Celibacy does not ordinarily begin with practice, but with the formation of an image of celibacy, often personified in one person believed to be a practicing celibate. This process involves the achievement of a degree of self-knowledge, measuring one's own capacity to live with the sexual discipline and deprivation necessary to be celibate. Having some degree of self-awareness readies a person to proceed further in seeking knowledge about the process of celibacy and what it involves in realistic terms. Because celibacy is neither abstract nor extraneous to the individual striving for it, these inevitable steps precede the experimentation and practice of celibacy. If, in time, celibacy takes personal root, it is often capped by a more or less formal vow. It is from a stable internal base that celibacy can be said to reach achievement once its integration is woven into the fiber of one's being. That is when celibacy becomes an integral part of one's sexual self. Self-revelation of such a process is never simple.