V-Ball Venus: pro volleyballer Angie Akers ensnares MF in her net

Who wouldn't suffer a little chafing in the Speedo region for a romp in the sandbox with Angie Akers? She was the Association of Volleyball Professionals' 2002 Rookie of the Year. At 6', this 28-year-old has the height and skill to spike any guy's balls back over the net if she doesn't like his setup. Here's how to take your game to her home court and get her to, uh, dig you.

Q: When it comes to indoor games, do you like a guy to play offense, or would you rather set the pace?

A: I like the guy to be more aggressive. My whole life, I've been taller than most everyone else. So with guys, I like to feel small.

Q: So how does an average guy impress a towering female such as yourself without using a step stool?

A: I don't envy the position guys are in--no matter what, it's hard to walk up to a girl and start a conversation without being cheesy. With any girl, the trick is not to take yourself too seriously. There's nothing worse than a guy who thinks he's "the shit."

Q: But that's our nickname! Did you feel all tingly--as we did--when the Olympic women's beach-volleyball team won the gold and the players slapped each other affectionately on the ass and embraced in the sand?

A: Totally. That type of celebration isn't weird to any of us. When we're excited, we hug each other. We're not afraid to be labeled as "gay." People are only uptight about that kind of contact in America.

Q: We actually labeled it "hot." With such rigorous play and very limited clothing, ever had a "wardrobe malfunction" during a big match?

A: No. Our suits are pretty sturdy. But if it were to happen during a really intense game, I'd still go on to win the point.

Q: Of course you would. You'd have already won in our judgment. As long as we're getting down and dirty--verbally, anyway--got any tips for keeping sand out of precarious places?

A: It gets everywhere, no matter what. I've learned to deal with it. It's not uncomfortable anymore.

Q: Yeah, neither is our case of rickets. What kind of come-on makes you want to smack down a guy like a lazily lobbed Spalding?

A: Touching me without permission. I've been in bars where guys will try to slap my ass or grab my hand, and that's just disgusting. The best way to hit on a woman is to act like you're not hitting on her. Find a topic of conversation that would be comfortable for both of us--make it less obvious that you're trying to get laid.

COPYRIGHT 2005 Weider Publications
COPYRIGHT 2008 Gale, Cengage Learning