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Escape from the red states: gay parents can wake up to find that their home state wants to break up their family. Some fight back; others simply leave for friendlier locales
Advocate, The, July 19, 2005 by Kelly Griffith
"Not to allow a child to receive Social Security benefits from a parent who has raised them their entire life and who has paid into the system is just so immoral," says HRC's Evans. Such rights would be bestowed automatically if gay parents were legally able to marry.
Fighting such an organized antigay effort and the inequalities that exist have fueled something some people never expected: anger that leads to action. Kirchgassner and Robertson, for instance, leave the Sunshine State with a renewed vigor to continue their fight. Even though with a civil union they will have legal access to many of the same benefits in the state as married couples, they are not ready to rest. "I'm angry. I'm going to be more politically active up there," Kirchgassner said. "I'm going to be more involved."
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Griffith is a regional bureau chief and columnist for the Orlando [Fla.] Sentinel.
One birth, two moms
New Jersey couple Kimberly Robinson and Jeanne LoCicero were registered as domestic partners in New York in 2003 and legally married in Canada last year. But when they asked a judge to recognize them as the joint parents of their daughter, who was born on April 30, it was in the interest of the child, not their rights as a couple. Superior court judge Patricia Medina Talbert agreed and on May 25 allowed them to have both their names listed on the birth certificate for Vivian, who was born to Robinson through artificial insemination.
The decision--the first of its kind in New Jersey--provides full parental rights to both women. "It was a real release," says LoCicero, a staff attorney for the American Civil Liberties Union of New Jersey. "We always knew that we would be a family, but to have it legally recognized was really great." --Justin Scott
10 tips for protecting your family when moving from state to state
1. Assume nothing. Check everything before making a decision. Seek the advice of a gay-friendly lawyer in the state you are moving to.
2. Check out the Web sites for the Human Rights Campaign: Lambda Legal; Children of Lesbians and Gays Everywhere; Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays; and the Family Pride Coalition, as they stay as up-to-date as possible on issues related to gay families.
3. Invest in legal documents, such as a will, a health care proxy statement, a living will, and a power of attorney granting decisionmaking rights to a nonbiological parent or partner, for instance. Get an attorney's advice.
4. Look for social support through a parenting group in your new state or city. They offer not only other supportive gay parents but other children with families similar to yours for your own children to bond with,
5. If there's no such group, start one. Other gay parents will turn out.
6. Talk to your friends, coworkers, neighbors, and relatives about your family. The more people see your family, the more they will understand the need for equal rights.
7. Support gay-owned and gay-friendly businesses--they are taking risks to court you as a customer, and the importance of their political and financial support is immeasurable.
