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A Blow to the Brain
Discover, Jan, 1999 by Jill Bolte Taylor
Nearly two years have passed since my stroke. Besides having a beauty of a scar, I still have some cognitive impairment. I can handle only elementary mathematical calculations, and when I'm tired I have trouble finding the right word. But while the stroke left me physically and functionally intact, for the most part, I am far from unchanged. I have shifted away from being a superanalytical, confident risk taker who relied on the analytical skills housed in my brain's left hemisphere. Instead I experienced a fascinating and pleasurable shift in my perspective. When my left hemisphere shut down, my right hemisphere became dominant. Now, after many months of healing, I am much more mellow and secure in my understanding of who I am and what I want to accomplish with the finite time I have.
One does not cheat death and continue to treat life the same as before. My brain will never be the same; neither will my view of my brother's isolated and delusional world. I have experienced feeling overwhelmed by the abundance of confusing signals around me. Although I suffered a different type of confusion from that of people with schizophrenia, this has been my stroke of insight into a corner of my brother's profoundly psychotic world. For several very disturbing and traumatic months, I lived inside a brain that could not comprehend the shared reality of our society.
I was unquestionably one of the lucky ones. I had the type of brain disorder that could simply be cut out of my head, and with time I can expect to experience a nearly complete recovery. But that is not the case for my brother and millions of others diagnosed with severe mental illness. They face a lifetime of medical treatment and cruel social discrimination.
I have crossed the bridge from the academic description of illness to personal insight, and my resolve is stronger than ever. Now I enjoy helping people understand what it is like to experience mental deterioration, with the hope that through our understanding, our fears of the mentally ill can be replaced with compassion. Comprehending the torment in the lives of those who suffer like my brother will help us become more humane.
JILL BOLTE TAYLOR (Vital Signs, page 18) is a neuroscientist and the Harvard Brain Tissue Resource Center's National Spokesperson for the Mentally Ill. "I'm called the Singin' Scientist," says Taylor, who travels the country with her guitar, educating people about the beauty of the human brain. "There's a shortage of brain tissue for research," she says. "I try to talk to families about this, but the tension in the room is pretty thick when they realize `Oh my God, she wants my brain!' That's why I wrote `The Brain Bank Jingle.' "
COPYRIGHT 1999 Discover
COPYRIGHT 2000 Gale Group
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