'Til debt do us part; financial tips for newlyweds

Charles and his longtime girlfriend Mary decided the time was right to tie the knot. Love and excitement took over as they planned to embark on life's journey together. As the couple made plans for the wedding, each had to be specific about his or her financial situation in order to save enough money for their glorious wedding.

In this, Mary became aware of how much money Charles made a year, which was a considerable amount less than she believed. Also, Mary was carrying a debt load of more than $20,000 of credit card bills and student loans. Needless to say, these weren't exactly the kinds of surprises they were expecting.

Many couples face financial obstacles before and after they say "I do," some similar to Charles and Mary's. Disagreements over money matters can burden even the strongest marriages; however, couples don't have to let this tear them apart. JET spoke with money experts who gave encouraging tips to newlyweds that will help you not allow debt and other stress about money destroy your marriage before your first wedding anniversary--or honeymoon.

* Communication Is The Key.

Though talking about money in a romantic relationship is taboo to some, experts emphasize that success begins and ends by clearly communicating with each other about your financial concerns and goals.

"Communication is the biggest asset to any union of two people," says financial advisor Jesse B. Brown, author of 101 Real Money Questions, The African American Financial Question and Answer Book. "People are different. There is not only the man-woman difference, but there is the cultural and rearing difference as well. The two people could come from different homes and backgrounds. They may come from different cultures. The important thing is to talk to each other and get the goals of the relationship established early."

When Derrick and Carise married, they didn't even think to talk about each other's financial situation. They were too much in love and thought it didn't matter. A year later, the couple says their main stress comes from not having enough money and not being prepared for emergency expenses.

Brown says that it is vital to discuss finances before the wedding; that person not only becomes your spouse, but also your business partner. "Nothing breaks up a couple faster than money. Money is a stress-maker. It sometimes begins the day of the engagement. The first discussion is the cost of the wedding. Many couples spend too much money on the wedding and don't have the first month's rent taken care of The purpose of a marriage is to have a happy life together, not a stressful life," says Brown, president and CEO of Krystal Investment Management in Chicago.

* Work Together To End Debt.

In today's society, it is more than likely a couple will enter a marriage carrying debt in their baggage. Brown says the first task for the couple should be debt management. "Debt should not be merged. The couple should make an effort to eliminate the debt of each person and then keep it down. To create a plan together, they should first put down all of their debt on a piece of paper or maybe a computer program (including college loans, credit cards, car loans, taxes, child support, etc.) that clearly shows what is owed, interest rates, dates due and balance. Then trust each other's judgment and work toward a plan of eliminating the debt."

Financial advisor Cheryl Broussard, who with Michael Burns co-wrote What's Money Got To Do With It: The Ultimate Guide on Hew To Make Love and Money Work in Your Relationship, suggests a formula for households: A couple should live off 70% of income and save the other 30%, which should be broken down 10% retirement account, 10% emergency and 10% should pay off credit card debt.

Also, it may sound simple, but another way to manage debt is not to incur any more of it. Bronssard says we need to learn how to say "No."

"The 'No' attitude is simply saying no to any purchase you can't pay cash for. Don't put anything on credit cards, even if they say one year with no interest because most people will not pay it off within a year. If they don't pay it off, one day after the due date the total year's worth of interest will be added to the balance. We've gotten away from saving. Our grandparents didn't have the luxury of credit, and as a result, they saved up for a major purchase. Buying a home is the only debt newlyweds should go into," Broussard says.

* Plan Financial Meetings.

Newlyweds may have a designated movie night or date night, but Glinda Bridgforth, a financial expert and co-author of Girl, Make Your Money Grow, says a couple has to use that same consistency with financial meetings. "You've got to make sure you schedule regular family financial meetings," says Bridgforth. "You have to do it like a standing appointment. The same way you schedule your appointment to get your hair done or go to the gym, you've got to schedule a specific time to meet together to talk about the financial situation in the household."