Random notes on a bad night

If you went to bed before 4 a.m. Eastern Standard Time on November 3, you are not allowed to call yourself a political junkie.

Two words everyone in America will learn to despise: provisional ballot.

So, what have we learned? Apparently Republicans have cellphones, too.

If you liked the last four years, you're going to LOVE the next four. If you didn't, time to learn either Spanish or Canadian.

Fun new anagram: TCTC. Too close to call.

The exit polls were mostly wrong in states with electronic voting machines. But the exit polls were wrong? Hmmmm.

Best campaign joke: "Every time you vote Republican, God kills a kitten."

In the 2000 election, only 17 percent of the total vote came from eighteen to twenty-nine-years-olds. But in this election, with all the attendant hype about galvanizing the youth vote, it's estimated a whole 17 percent of the total vote came from eighteen to twenty-nine-years-olds.

Bush lost Pennsylvania after forty-four trips. And he was leading there when he started. Has anybody ever considered that a politician can visit a state too many times?

I ended up switching between ABC, CBS, and CNN because they were the only ones to refuse to call Ohio for Bush.

Best Dan Rather lines of election night: "Beat him like a rented mule." "Hotter than a Times Square Rolex."

"Don't know whether to wind our watch or bark at the moon."

I was hoping Bush was going to win the popular vote but lose the electoral vote, and how'd you like to be the one having to explain it to him.

It was reported that Iowa quit counting ballots because some of the counters got tired. They got tired? They should have tried watching CNN until dawn.

It was weird to see the Kerry campaign dismantle party headquarters in Boston's Copley Square before any clear winner was called. The hell was that? Were they that worried about getting the deposit on their folding chairs back?

Four more years. Don't ask for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for thee.

The good news is: Air America still has a raison d'etre.

The bad news is: So does Michael Moore.

More good news: Senator John Kerry won't have Republican Governor Mitt Romney appoint his successor.

More bad news: three Supreme Court justices.

The final bit of good news: Hillary Clinton in 2008.

The final bit of bad news: Hillary Clinton in 2008.

Anybody up for two out of three?

When Will Durst gets a shitload of incredibly bad news, he responds, "I'm going to Disney World. "No, really.

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