Letter from Al - George W. Bush's conduct of life - Brief Article

Dear Mom and Dad,

Little help over here. Please pick by number. Gracias!

1. I made some mistakes in the past. I've learned from my mistakes. And I've moved on. And the American people are ready to move on, as well. Move on from the politics of personal attack and smear, move on from digging into people's pasts. I'm ready to run a vigorous, fair, positive campaign, and I hope you'll help me do that.

(Seems right. But how long can I keep saying it?)

2. I made some mistakes in the past. I got high once. Once! One time, back in the hippie days. I just did it to freak Dad out, but turns out he kind of rolled with it. Said "sounds like a couple of strong martoonis," which in a way is right on the money. So c'mon. At least I admit that I inhaled.

(Kinda fun. Like I'm not taking it too seriously. Okay with you, Dad?)

3. I made some mistakes in the past. I've learned from my mistakes. But I don't want to get into the specifics of what I did and when. Suffice it to say that I was kind of a lost soul before I met my beautiful wife. She gave me direction and support and has been my rock for as long as we've been married. Let's give her a big hand! Honey, you want to come out and take a bow? Maybe say a few words? Let's give it up, ladies and gentlemen!

(Do a "Limited Hillary." Whaddya think, Mom?)

4. I made some mistakes in the past. I've learned from my mistakes. And I've got 40 million bucks just itching to talk about Steve's dad, Red Cross fundraising irregularities, the Buddhist-temple thing, and no controlling legal authority. You want a piece of me? You want to take a shot at me? Well, I got some advice for you. You take a shot at me, you better kill me. 'Cause I've got 45 million bones (I just made five in the time it's taken me to say this sentence. Actually, make that ten. This one has taken longer than I thought) ready, willing, and able to go negative hard, fast, furious, and unrelenting. If you think you can keep up with that, go for it.

(Kinda my favorite. Took out the "F" words, though. Think I should put 'em back?)

5. I made some mistakes in the past. And I've learned from my mistakes. Never tried to rape a gal, though. Never groped a gal who wasn't my wife. Never touched an intern. Never raised money illegally and then lied about it. Next question.

(I like this one too. Reminds me of Lee Atwater.)

6. I made some mistakes. I've learned from my mistakes. There were activities in the past-I'm not entirely clear on the dates, I'm working on that-that I'm sure were perfectly legal at the time that I might have engaged in when in fact I didn't have the information-and we're trying to get you the information you need, sooner rather than later, more rather than less-needed to really define-and isn't it interesting that these things are coming up now, right when I'm trying to talk about education and renewal? I mean, it isn't a coincidence, is it? Some people just don't like change, even positive change, and they'll do anything to stop it. I mean, this is an old story. We've been through it and through it and the American people, quite frankly, are sick of it.

7. Here's what we're talking about: some grass, a little coke in the disco days, maybe some Ecstasy once, when it first hit Houston. I mean, people! Come on! Hello?? Can't we all just get beyond this? Next question, pull-eeezz!

George

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