Time to cry "auntie!" - influence of women in society - Column

THE OLD EXPRESSION had it that, when one has had enough pressure put on to the point of not being able to take it any longer, it was time to cry "Uncle!" Upon hearing the magic word, the other would release the pressure. Today, however, the more appropriate call would be to cry "Auntie!," as it is women who are applying nearly unbearable pressure on men and seemingly (to the latter) trying to take over

Most males now accept a changing world in which they are forced to share the limelight with females, but, having done so, may find themselves diminished and pushed off of center stage into the wings. They admit that it is legitimate for a competent woman to dominate, but too often observe that dominating has changed to domineering.

The social scene now finds that it is not females, but males, particularly middle-class whites, who are being denied equal rights. Decades ago, stores and companies often put up "Help Wanted" signs that read, "Irish, Colored, and Italians need not apply." Were such signs to prevail today, they would read instead, "White males need not apply." Ask any business, police or fire department, or school if such is not the case. For example, the Los Angeles Police Department, 14% female, is under orders from the City Council to move that rate to 44% within the next decade.

Political activists declared 1992 the Year of the Woman. In fact, we have lived through several decades of women. Their names are household words in virtually every field of endeavor. On national news and TV programs, consider Joan Lunden, Connie Chung, Diane Sawyer, Cassie Seifert, Susan Spencer, Barbara Walters, and incredibly, though undeservedly, Roseanne Arnold.

In politics, there are Patricia Schroeder, Nancy Kassenbaum, Carla Hills, Diane Feinstein, Lynn Martin, Elizabeth Dole, and Ann Richards, to name a few. Sandra O'Connor is better known than many of her fellow Supreme Court justices. For years, Nelson Mandela played second fiddle to his wife, Winnie. Corazon Aquino had her turn in the spotlight, as did England's Iron Lady, Margaret Thatcher. Who says there are glass ceilings for women?

Increasingly, women are the public spokespersons for government agencies and various companies and industries. Their enrollment in medical and especially law schools is rising yearly. Many have found a home in the armed services, and the issue of whether they should be deployed in combat situations still is being debated.

In short, women have achieved power and now have an insatiable appetite for it. I refer not only to the power of their sex--which they always have had and frequently used--but to political power. Men worry that female power is becoming absolute, remembering Lord Acton's dictum, "All power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely."

It doesn't take a misogynist to recognize that women now have highly organized networks to help them achieve their goals. Whether the "Sisterhood," National Organization of Women (NOW), or various professional associations such as those of female professors or woman mayors, they are at work.

Their ability to use their newly acquired power was witnessed in the nationally televised Anita Hill / Clarence Thomas hearings. Thomas won the battle, but lost the war for men. What emerged was innuendo enough to sully forever the male reputation. This became the rallying point for countless sexual harassment charges, now springing forth nationwide like weeds after a heavy rain. The extent of woman power was not realized fully until the Tailhook affair, a despicable occurrence that brought down admirals.

Today, men wonder if they risk the charge of chauvinism by radical feminists if they are courteous enough to tip their hats to women or open doors for them. Given today's climate, they dare not venture to pat a female on the shoulder in congratulating her for a job well done. To use a mixed metaphor, men must be cleaner than Caesar's wife in dealing with women in the workplace, for frivolous harassment charges lurk behind every office door. The mood of females today is that males are guilty until proven innocent.

As a result, men are suffering an identity crisis. A plethora of books testifies to this, as women try to define men exclusively in relation to themselves. For those who choose to be single mothers, the man is a mere stud. In some dual-career marriages, where the female earns more than the male, he has lost his role as breadwinner and taken over her role as caretaker and homemaker.

On the receiving end, women berate men for not grasping the woman's point of view, as in Deborah Tanner's best seller, You Just Don't Understand. The same complaint can be found in Lillian Glass' He Says, She Says.

Trying to counter this movement, to explain it, or just to give therapy to men who have abandoned their macho image under pressure from women are works such as John Gray's Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus and John Bly's Iron John.

In the view of men, women vary from the powerful Brunhilde figure in Wagnerian opera to the earth mother image (recently applied by Democrats to Barbara Bush) to the dainty Victorian gentlewoman. The archetypal female of Carl Jung's psychology was the familiar "madonna-prostitute." Accordingly, woman is marked by ambiguity--deviousness and goodness, taker and giver, all wrapped into one. She was die ewige Frau, the eternal woman. H. Rider Haggard's classic, She, portrays her as a kind of phoenix that rises renewed out of her own ashes.