The real reason we don't take vacations

It's vacation-planning season. As usual, though, while your friends and coworkers are booking their family beach trips and golf getaways, you are in the middle of another long hot summer of slogging away at your desk. It does not seem fair. The kids finally are old enough to travel, and you would love to take them, but you simply cannot swing it this year ... can you?

"Actually, you probably can," maintains Tripp Friedler, author of Free Gulliver: Six Swift Lessons in Life Planning. "I have noticed that clients who are always telling me they can't afford a vacation seem to be doing pretty well. I mean, they can 'afford' a lot of other things, so why not a vacation?"

A financial planner with a holistic approach, Friedler says he oftentimes has found that "I can't afford its' along with its first cousin, "I'm too busy to take time off," are excuses we use to cover other, deeper issues. Interestingly, most of us do not even realize we are doing it. Here are a few reasons you might be writing off your summer vacation--and Friedler's thoughts on what really is going on:

You think you cannot afford it. Actually, you probably can. You just would rather spend money on a big house or an expensive car or monthly shopping sprees. If those are your priorities, fine. Just take the time to think about what you really want. "You may well decide you can live with a more modest home or car to free up money for extras like nice vacations. Many people drift into a lifestyle that takes every cent of their paycheck without ever considering whether that's what they really want."

You believe they cannot survive without you at work. No one is so important that a company will go out of business if he or she takes two weeks off. If you believe yours will, you might have a few ego issues that need exploring. "You may have to do some creative juggling and delegating, but if a vacation is a priority to you, you can make it work. Besides, if you're truly the cog around which the rest of the company turns, all the more reason you need a vacation."

Secretly, you are more comfortable at the office than hanging out with your family. This one is tough to admit, but many hard-driving executives do not enjoy being around their family for long stretches at a time. This is especially true if the spouse handles 95% of the day-to-day child care. "Many people will say, 'Hey, my family is the reason I work so hard in the first place.' I say to them, 'Are they really? Then have dinner with them once in a while, and spend a week or so with them at the beach--or be honest enough to admit to yourself that it's just not your thing and send them off on vacation without you.'"

Friedler concludes: "Most people need a sense of balance, and working nonstop without a break isn't the answer. That's what's so great about drilling down and gaining clarity on your vacation excuse. It makes you really think about how all the pieces--work, home, family, money management--come together. Self-exploration is the first step in crafting a life of passion."

COPYRIGHT 2006 Society for the Advancement of Education
COPYRIGHT 2008 Gale, Cengage Learning