Recovering users mourn "lost love"

Heroin addicts trying to kick the habit often profoundly grieve their lost "relationship" with the needles they use to inject the drug, maintains a study by a University at Buffalo (N.Y.) doctoral student. This intense personal connection with the needle, which some addicts described as a "love affair," may be a factor in the high relapse rate among recovering addicts, suggests Davina Moss, who interviewed patients in a detoxification facility.

Each described the intense grief experienced while away from the drug and great sorrow for personal losses resulting from the addiction. "I was surprised to hear the addicts in the study describe their love for the needle," Moss admits. "They described a feeling of 'oneness' with the needle, how they would caress the needle, and how they would never forget their first time using the needle--much like someone would describe a first love."

One user even suggested that, if he did not crave the feel of the needle, he might be able to kick his habit. Moss also found that recovering addicts grieve the loss of heroin as if they were mourning a loved one's death. They expressed an adoration for the drug much like one loves a spouse.

Moreover, they grieve giving up the "heroin lifestyle," partly because they are addicted to the challenge and excitement of scoring the drug. "They mourn the loss of the heroin culture," Moss explains. "Heroin addicts develop a strong bond among themselves--much like you find within a family or cult. They have their own slang; they watch out for each other; and share information on where to get the drug. When heroin addicts start recovery, they have a hard time pulling away from this culture. They miss the bonding, the language, the excitement of drug activities."

Moss recommends that grief counseling be integrated within treatment programs to help addicts overcome their feelings of loss. "Their unresolved grief is not being addressed," she concludes.

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