Why can't you say—or show—that on TV?

EACH ELECTION YEAR, whenever the economy and the deficit become major issues, Americans are dying on foreign soil, and there is a health-care crisis that overwhelms the social fabric, it is guaranteed that Congress will hold hearings concerning sex and/or violence on television.

Forget the highest deficit in the country's history, the millions of Americans who cannot get adequate health care, and the men and women dying in Iraq. Let's worry about the new buzzword--indecency. Focus instead on an 18-frame glimpse of Janet Jackson's breast or fret about a common F-word being used (in a nonsexual way) during an awards ceremony, or cringe because our neighbors may be seeing something on television that is offensive to other decent human beings.

It may come as a surprise to some representatives that the notorious F-word and all of its variations probably is the most common form of expression throughout the country after "the," "a," and "is." Go into any barbershop, beauty salon, tire or police station, construction site, junior high school, college dormitory, bar and grill, drugstore, supermarket--any place people gather, including freeways and public events--and that word constantly will be floating through the air. There even are American subcultures whose jargon is arranged around colorful variations of it. It is as much a part of their verbal repertoire and thought process as any adjective, verb, or noun.

Yet, Congress is alarmed that it might be heard on the airwaves, offending every innocent in the audience, especially children. Never forget the children. An adult sounds silly when bemoaning partial nudity or an expletive. Yet, when that same person couples the complaint with a plea for the children, it becomes fashionable. Censorship may be a word that alarms many Americans, but not when used in conjunction with kids. We must protect our impressionable youth from the language and images that are upsetting to a small percentage of the adult populace. Why rude expressions and pictures involving the human body are taboo is an issue that probably never will be resolved. Those who consider the television controversy absurd drama realize that, to many citizens, it is the beginning of the end of civilized society.

The uproar during the Super Bowl halftime concert and the subsequent fallout over the viewing of Jackson's breast does not seem to make any sense when you talk about taste and decency. For example, what is tasteful about a commercial played during the Super Bowl broadcast in which a horse lifts his tail to deliver a burst of flatulence that explodes in a woman's face; or children with bars of soaps in their mouths because, when they see a cool, new car, they yell "Holy S ..."; or, for that matter, 22 men who will do anything and everything to stop the other term from scoring--with close-ups of blood flowing from one player's nose, another writhing in pain after being gang-tackled, and the quarterback lying prone after yet another vicious sack. What kind of society tolerates that type of tastelessness, then labels a brief glimpse of a female breast indecent?

Kids are among the most tolerant people around. They do not realize that nudity or profanity is offensive until adults tell them. They love everything about the human body that most grown-ups find tasteless and disgusting--burping, farting, vomiting, and anything involving snot. Children's authors know this very well. Maybe that explains why a best-selling children's book concerns a farting dog. Many of these youngsters grow up to be adults who continue to laugh shamelessly at juvenile jokes about bodily functions.

The bottom line is that what is objectionable to one person may not be to another. You cannot legislate taste or even decency in a society where half the population is offended by the F-word and naked bodies, and the other half spends billions of dollars on adult entertainment. The definition of what is tasteful and decent and what is not becomes tangled in a person's culture, vocabulary, and peer approval.

To add to the confusion, how do you define indecency when four of the most critically acclaimed series on television--"Sex and the City," "The Sopranos," "Six Feet Under," and "Curb Your Enthusiasm"--not only win the industry's top awards and make the "Top 10" lists of most TV critics, but also use the F-word, sexual content, and nudity repeatedly? Who decides what is indecent, and does it really matter?

Congress does not care about any of this. It knows that a large percentage of the voting public is outraged when children are exposed to what they deem indecent language or images. Hearings on indecency give the appearance of doing something--even if it is not in any way relevant to the real problems facing the country. Congress understands full well that the budget deficit is here to stay; there is no possibility of universal health care this year; and Americans will be dying in Iraq throughout 2004. Hearings are a wonderful distraction. Politicians have known since the days of the Roman Empire that bread and circuses will keep an angry populace at bay. So bring on the circus. Legislators are hoping that the public focus can be shifted to the F-word and naked bosoms--at least until the November elections are over and business can go back to normal.