We marry those like ourselves

Given the reasons why people choose their mates, maybe men and women are from the same planet after all, says an evolutionary anthropologist from the University of California, Davis. In fact, when men and women are out shopping in the mate market, they actually are looking for people with traits that they rank highly within themselves, notes Monique Borgerhoff Mulder.

"We already know that men and women's preferences are relative: Individuals not only assess their own quality as a mate relative to that of their companions', but also form a mate preference based on their self perception."

Her research found that people want mates who reflect their own values. For instance, in a study of solicitations in singles columns, women who claim to be attractive and men who claim to be wealthy make higher overall demands of prospective partners than do column advertisers without such credentials.

Perhaps the move toward choosing a mate more like oneself has to do with the evolution of society away from the traditional labor division between hunters and gatherers and toward a 21st century unisex workforce, Borgerhoff Mulder surmises. "By marrying someone similar to you, it might be easier to coordinate over childcare, shopping, and cleaning the house, or simply be the best way of ensuring your partner doesn't walk out on you."

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