Rediscover the art of celebration - Holidays

Admit it, you hate the holidays. Who needs the shopping frenzy, the decorating pressures, the relatives, the cooking, the wrapping, the cleaning up? Really, who needs the holidays? We all do, argues clinical psychologist Herb Rappaport, Temple University, Philadelphia, Pa. If the holidays give you the blues, he indicates, it's time to take stock of what you want from them and then act accordingly--and sometimes boldly--to make them your own.

"When we dread components of our lives, something is either wrong with the situation or the way we are approaching it," maintains Rappaport, author of Holiday Blues: Rediscovering the Art of Celebration. "Holidays, like the rest of life, should be positive markers to anticipate with enthusiasm and optimism. They are to be anticipated as pauses. They force us to break away from routine and to focus on the celebration at hand.

"People need to be brave enough and imaginative enough to change things that don't make them happy. We have a culture with a lot of different value systems. And a lot of people don't really know what the holidays mean to them. We have the freedom to affect what we do at all times. The problem is that so much of our behavior seems automatic, when, in fact, there is so much room for greater personal control."

Rappaport offers what he dubs "Ten Commandments to Help Improve the Quality of Celebration":

* Embrace the holiday essence. "Emphasis and reemphasis on the meaning of the celebration takes energy and conviction."

* Exercise choice. "Decide whether to celebrate or how to celebrate."

* Use imagination. "Let the holidays become an opportunity to indulge the side of us which goes beyond the humdrum of everyday life."

* Be proactive and implement change. "People become attached to their self-defeating behavior patterns, which is why the change process is not simple."

* Adjust expectations. "People who are constantly let down by celebrations, who get the `Is that all there is?' feeling over and over, need to be reoriented to the celebration at hand."

* Be present. "Intentionally shut out all the interferences that are under your control. Allow enough time for the holiday to have meaning, rather than celebrating it on the fly."

* Practice altruism. "Try extending your generosity and energy to others. There is no better antidote for the self-absorption associated with holiday blues than to get outside yourself and consider the plight of others."

* Focus on relationships. "The key to making holidays successful is to understand and, as much as possible, accept the taste and needs of other people."

* Have patience. "It is important to think of celebration as a piece of art that can be worked and reworked until it represents the image we desire."

* Help. "Whether people seek the help of friends, family, or a professional, they need to take action to implement changes, which is what is most important."

COPYRIGHT 2002 Society for the Advancement of Education
COPYRIGHT 2002 Gale Group