Raising children —parents do matter - Your Life - Brief Article

In recent years, many people have debated the role of parents and what it takes to raise successful children. Some have maintained that parents have little power to determine the sort of adults their offspring become, adding it's what kids experience outside the home--in the company of their peers--that matters most. However, researchers at the University of Missouri-Columbia have proposed a theory which argues that soccer moms and Little League dads do matter in determining how successful a child will become.

According to David Geary, professor of psychological sciences, and Mark Flinn, associate professor of anthropology, human parental behavior serves a complex evolutionary function that is linked to other unique human characteristics, including a large brain, sexuality, and a long childhood. Their social competition theory explains how these characteristics work together to define the purpose--and importance--of parenting better.

"Once humans gained ecological dominance over other species, they became their own greatest competitors," Flinn points out. "To gain advantage, humans formed kin-based social groups that competed against others, initiating a coalitionary arms race. Competition among and within groups required humans to be thinkers, involving deception and counterdeception. Thus, the brain became a tool to solve social problems, and greater intelligence was a selected evolutionary trait."

In order for children to gain the intelligence needed to compete, though, humans needed a longer developmental period to allow the brain time to become more sophisticated and the individual to gain experience. Geary and Flinn propose that parenting became the means by which offspring were afforded the opportunity to gain this experience. "Parenting not only provides for a child's basic needs, it also provides a protective context where children can practice and refine--often by interacting with peers--the social and intellectual skills they will need to compete successfully in adulthood," Geary explains. "Children who don't get this type of help from parents or other kin are at a real disadvantage."

"Social competition is still very much a part of society, but it has evolved beyond basic needs," Flinn indicates. "Among the items humans compete for today is social status. Parents are sensitive to the status of their children as compared to others. By providing that cradle of support, parents allow their children the opportunity to find and exploit their strengths. It's not the smell of fresh-cut grass that brings soccer moms out [early in the morning] on Saturdays. They want their children to interact with their peers. Understanding how to form friendships and alliances is a critical skill for social success."

While Geary and Flinn agree that youngsters' peers influence their personalities, they insist that parents do matter. "Children need parents," Geary says. "They need them to train, educate, and demonstrate how to compete and succeed in society. There's no other way to develop that social context without the family."

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