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Points of light: informal adoption in the black community

Children Today, Sept-Oct, 1990 by Charmaine Yoest

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  "...  several studies have revealed
     role strain and conflict between
     grandmothers and mothers concerning
     the rearing of informally
     adopted children.  Often, the
     grandmother behaves as the
    'mother" of the grandchild,
    and the natural mother as an
    older sister of her own child.
    Consequently, the grandmother
    role may, in fact, be non-existent." (19)

Lastly, informal adoption leaves the child in legal limbo. Should the child's informal parent die, the child is ineligible for Social Security benefits. Nor would the child be eligible for disability benefits to which he would otherwise have been entitled had he been legally adopted. Additionally, if no one present has ultimate legal responsibility for them, informally adopted children are sometimes shuffled from one home to another. This is the dark side of the "revolving door."

In our discussion of informal adoption, we must recognize the deterioration of some of the factors that have made informal adoption possible in the past. During the last 20 years the extended family network in the black community has been seriously weakened. With the decline in the extended family, the resources that have enabled older black women, and others, to take in needy-children in the kinship network are diminishing.

Hearing the details of Nadine's story without knowing her or knowing the outcome, there would be little risk in predicting that she would become an unwed, poorly educated adolescent mother living in poverty. All of the other girls on her block became unwed mothers. But she did not. On getting to know her, one is startled to discover that Nadine comes from an economically deprived background; there are no outwardly visible indications.

Gale's story is likewise a gratifying surprise: A woman who as a very young girl watched her mother shooting up on heroin, grew up to earn a college degree and go on to pursue a doctorate. Her story is a wonderful anomaly.

These are two who were born on the edge of darkness. But light came to them through their grandparents: MaDear McKee and the Joneses. And that light enabled them to see things differently. Nadine explains:

  "There is one thing that I know
     has made me different.  I don't
     want to sound too mystical but
     the only thing I can say is that
     I have always, always wanted
     better for myself!  And I don't
  know where that came from; but
      I have always, always wanted
      better for myself.  Just because
      you didn't have, doesn't mean
      you have to end your life not
      having."

Gale's outlook is similar. When asked what the difference was between those who were able to make their dreams a reality and those who fell prey to the limitations of their background, she replied, "There's got to be something inside you that says, 'I don't want to live like that.' For some people it's a much clearer vision, they see it as attainable."

If it was a clear vision of a better life which motivated both Nadine and Gale, the path that they both took to get there was the same as well: education.

Health Care Industry

Points of light: informal adoption in the black community

Children Today, Sept-Oct, 1990 by Charmaine Yoest

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