A better argument

Anger itself isn't an unhealthy thing. But the way you act when you're angry can make you sick.

Susan: My parents are coming this weekend so you have to help me clean this house. I can't do everything around here.

David: What do you think I do all day? I'm at work, busting my ass for us, and you attack me about not doing anything. You've got no right. Besides, they're your parents, not mine.

Susan: My parents? Who the hell do you think cleaned up when your parents surprised us last month with their "spur of the moment" visit? Who ran around like a chicken with her head cut off making sure everything was nice for them? Not to mention, I work all day and then come home and work all night around here. That's more than I can say for you.

David: You're really unbelievable. I've gotta get out of here.

Susan: Fine, go.

Susan and David hurt not only each other's feelings, but their own health as well. Anger can be toxic to your body. It causes your heart to beat faster, more than tripling the amount of blood it pumps through your body. When you're in a rage, cortisol and adrenaline (stress hormones) flood your bloodstream. Your blood pressure rises, and your immune system weakens.

But what are you supposed to do? It's impossible to go through life without experiencing anger. Fortunately, what researchers are finding is that you can minimize its damage by controlling how you let it get to you and how you express it.

Rage or Repress?

While it was once thought that you should vent your anger, research now shows that when you have a hostile experience, you actually aggravate the emotion, resolve nothing, and put your body in peril.

"With your heart pumping so much blood, your blood pressure rises, and the lining of your coronary arteries begins to erode from the constant current of the surging blood," says Redford Williams, M.D., director of behavioral research at Duke University in North Carolina and author of Anger Kills (Times Books, 1993). Williams adds that cortisol and adrenaline stimulate fat cells to empty their contents into your bloodstream where they are picked up by the liver and converted into cholesterol. After years of anger, this cholesterol buildup can block the flow of blood to the coronary artery, starving your heart muscle.

In one study conducted by the Institute of HeartMath (IHM) in Boulder Creek, Calif., anger was shown to spike cortisol levels in the blood and decrease levels of IgA, your immune system's first line of defense against invading bacteria and viruses.

"This study showed us that short outbursts of anger disrupt the body's normal rhythm, and they have a long-term effect on the immune system," says Rollin McCraty, director of research for IHM. "Cortisol has a long half-life in the bloodstream--close to 13 hours at the cellular level. It is extremely potent."

However, suppressing anger and allowing it to simmer inside is no healthier, explains McCraty. "People who maintain an inner feeling of anger in the form of a slow burn actually extend the suppression of their immune system," McCraty says. "They're reprocessing their anger over and over again, and while their bodies won't get that big shot of cortisol that happens during an outburst, they will have more of a slow drip of cortisol over a longer period of time."

Indeed, the way you express your anger can make a discernible difference in the effect it has on your body. Janice Kiecolt-Glaser, Ph.D., professor of psychiatry and psychology and Robert Glaser, Ph.D., professor of microbiology, immunology, and internal medicine, a husband and wife team at Ohio State University, have spent more than a decade studying the way married couples argue. What they found is that the nastier, more sarcastic, and more hostile a couple is when they fight, the higher their hormone levels rise and the more their immune functions are hampered. (Interestingly, the Glasers also found that women have a greater sensitivity to marital conflicts, and suffer greater changes in immune function.)

Argument Overhaul

The following four steps can teach you how to keep your anger from becoming unhealthy (if Susan and David had known them, they could have had a healthier--and more productivc--argument):

1. IGNITION AWARENESS. "The first thing you need to do to manage your anger is learn what triggers it," says Susan Everson, Ph.D., assistant research scientist at the University of Michigan School of Public Health. "This can help you learn which situations to avoid to help you keep your anger from reaching an explosive level."

Considering how fast the argument between Susan and David escalated, the chances are they've argued about housework before. However, if they both become aware of how much of a hot button issue it is, they can find a way to avoid arguments about it. For example, they could divvy up the tasks equally: It could be David's job to clean the bathroom and do the laundry every week, and Susan's job to vacuum the living room and wash the kitchen floor every week. Or they could make a pact to never jump down each other's throats (as Susan had) when the other comes home from work.