Life is good: learning to love herself helped her change her life for the better

IN 1990, I WAS THE PICTURE OF HEALTH.

At 5'3", 118 pounds, I was entering my sophomore year at Jackson State University in Mississippi, the first in my family to attend college. Then it happened: I became pregnant. I thought my life was over. I took multiple pregnancy tests and was so depressed that I cried for three days straight. I became a master at pretending, so much so that I didn't purchase maternity clothes and ran excessively to ward off pregnancy pounds. I didn't tell a soul.

Everyone found out my secret literally overnight when one day I appeared with a 6-pound little lady. Intending to provide my daughter with the same stability my parents had given me, I moved to Denver, where two of my aunts lived.

IN PURSUIT OF A BETTER SELF

We arrived in Colorado in July 1991, and I was quickly introduced to a man who, in hindsight, was no more ready to be emotionally available to me or my daughter than I was to him. The more I was mistreated, the more I turned to food for comfort. I became severely depressed and ate more. A good day was coming home from work to a half-gallon of ice cream or a family-size bag of chips.

I woke up one morning to realize my svelte 118 pounds had ballooned to 172. I sought counseling, self-help books and quick-fix schemes. Nothing helped until I saw a photo of myself taken at my company's 1995 New Year's Eve party. At first glance, the extremely overweight woman in the picture didn't look familiar at all. That day, I made the decision to learn to love me, which meant starting certain areas of my life over again and relearning some habits. I first promised myself that I'd begin to pursue a better spirit, self and health. I left my dysfunctional relationship in the dust, along with the old me, and started my journey on Jan. 2, 1996.

My desire to get healthy was strong, and I started with the basics: I joined a gym, began taking an hour-long step aerobics class three times a week and did cardio on various machines for 45 minutes twice a week. I also drank more water; cut out all fried foods, high-fat dairy and soda; took a multivitamin; and stopped eating after 6:30 p.m. Before I knew it, I dropped more than 30 pounds.

COMPETITION & SATISFACTION

Around the end of 1996, I ran into a woman in the gym whom I hadn't seen for a few months. I thought she looked phenomenal--muscular, but with grace and femininity. The keys, I learned, were resistance training, a proper diet and drug-free supplementation. I started training and dieting seriously in October 1997, and set what I thought was a ridiculous goal of competing in a bodybuilding show in one year. Yet on Nov. 4, 1998, I placed fifth in my first competition!

From then on, everything in my life changed. People always talk about the physical benefits of weight training, but it has helped my spirit even more than my body. I sleep better, think more clearly and am happy with the skin that I'm in. My posture speaks of confidence, not fear. I'm a better mother for it, and I'm even pursuing a career in fitness modeling.

I think the person most affected by my life change, however, is my daughter. We all know that children mimic what they see, and I see my work ethic and discipline in her more and more. I never knew that life could be so good, and I owe it all to a new spirit, self, health and lifestyle.

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