The mystery guests

[?] VERTICAL HEROES OF THE 1980s was this year's KOTR mystery guest theme, giving the competitors in their late 20's and early 30's a chance to fan out on their childhood idols and the youngsters a window into just how tore back they'll be if they keep skating for 20 more years. The fact that all the guests agreed to participate is a testament to their generous nature and love of skating--especially considering 90 percent of the trip would be spent sitting in the van at two in the morning at the bottom of a handrail. Thank you, gentlemen. You are truly hand-planting princes among men!

Jeff Grosso

AKA: Mothra

Age: 34

Home: Orange County, CA

Strengths: Legend status, handplants, new lease on life

Weaknesses: The hard and scary stuff, not much of a street-styler

Assigned to: Zero

Fun Facts: Bukowski tattoo, hot eggs, invented the roast beef, came on the tour one month after near-fatal drug overdose, learned McTwists at age 31

Lance Mountain

AKA: Lance

Age: 40 Home: Alhambra, CA

Strengths: Legend status, pool punisher, frontals, family man

Weaknesses: Constantly mobbed by fans in their 30s, doesn't actually own 411

Assigned to: Real

Fun Facts: First video hero, drug-free lifer, agreed to participate because he thought he was going with the Girl team

Ben Schroeder

AKA: Big Ben

Age: 35 Home: Monrovia, CA

Strengths: Legend status, incredible girth and pain threshold, lip trickery

Weaknesses: Gullwing groove

Assigned to: Almost

Fun Facts: Came back from a broken neck, biggest professional skater of all time, from a large family of skaters, inventor of the alley-oop 50-50 to lipslide to Smith, aka the disco lip

Jason Jessee

AKA: Jason Jessee

Age: 34 Home: Watsonville, CA

Strengths: Legend status

Weaknesses: Fatty foods, ability to successfully board a flight

Assigned to: Girl

Fun Facts: Has no problem showing up for Monster Garage, the Stoked premiere, the Boost Mobile contest, sunglass and watch ads and every Starbucks he sees, but couldn't make it to Carbondale

Peter Gomez

AKA: Faggot Eyes

Age: 22

Home: Soiled pile of towels in the warehouse

Strengths: Ability to play The Lackey, great command of Jessee shtick, including gratuitous use of the word "buns"

Weaknesses: Not Jason Jessee

Forced on: Girl (for 24 hours)

Fun Facts: Once buggered with a hot pepper by Burnside's Pig Pen

Darren Navarrette

AKA: The Vertical Vato, The Vertical Vampire

Age: 28 Home: Mission Beach, CA

Strengths: Vert, pools. Mohawks, owns a hearse

Weaknesses: Tequila, that Sasha Steinhorst finger-snapping thing

Assigned as a sub to: Girl

Fun Facts: Can lipslide and 50-50 rails up to and including 10 stairs, in charge of the revamped Creature program, member of Daggers and Hesh Crew, can't get over the fact that vert is primarily for nerds

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