My least favorite drugs

Townsend Letter for Doctors and Patients,  Oct, 2006  by Marjorie Roswell

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I wrote these words to the tune of "My Favorite Things." Feel free to add your own verses, or edit to your heart's content. Please do send me your results!

There's Prozac and Zoloft, Effexor and Serzone
Luvox, Celexa, Wellbutrin, Remeron
Paxil, and Seroxat, Aropax too, Antidepressants
There's one just for you!

Adapin, Sinequan, Doxepin, (Warning ...)
Lexapro, Elavil (Not in the morning)
Isocarboxazid, Marplan, Oh my!
And Zimelidine (That's an SSRI).

Seratonin has you moanin'
Here is what they say:
Inhibit the uptake with drugs in your brain
Your blues will just melt away.

Monoamine oxidase we'll inhibit,
But Lord knows what side effects you will exhibit
Norepinephrine reuptake, we'll halt
You might not feel better, but worse: "Oy, Gevalt!"

When the blues bite,
When the heart stings
When you're feeling sad
Psychiatrists tell you to take little pills
And then you won't feel so bad!

'Cept for suicide, impotence, nausea, violence
Vision that's blurred, hypertension in silence
Hyperactivity, sweating and more
Seizure and headache, ah, symptoms galore!

Weight loss, or weight gain and stomach dispeptic
Fatigue and psychosis, a bit anorectic
Mania, twitching, and vomiting, yup
A loss of libido, he can't get it up

Constipation, with sedation
Or you just can't sleep
See the list of the adverse events that occur
Take the stuff and you'll start to weep!

[Repeat tune for last two lines.]
Oh, sunshine, massage, a long walk, and a hug
With good food: will trump any drug!

A column devoted to informative integrative health resources on the Internet

by Marjorie Roswell

mroswell@gmail.com

COPYRIGHT 2006 The Townsend Letter Group
COPYRIGHT 2006 Gale Group