Heterosexism and the Study of Women's Romantic and Friend Relationships

Research on sexual behavior has mirrored the emphasis placed on intercourse in the cultural script by using it as the criterion variable for premarital sex, marital sexual behavior, and sexual dysfunction. Studies of premarital behavior equate "first experience of sex" with "first experience of intercourse" (Rothblum, 1994). Intercourse with male orgasm also has been codified as a medical norm (Boyle, 1993; Maines, 1999; Tiefer, 1995). Its presence defines marital behavior and its absence, dysfunction.

The narrow view of sexuality that is generated by the cultural script distorts or omits behaviors that represent the interpersonal and intrapsychic sexual scripts of lesbians. Questions based on heterosexual relations may not translate easily for lesbians. For example, two lesbian focus groups conducted by Rose, Cobb, and Pelli (1992) came to the consensus that they used the term "have sex" most often to refer to a sexual episode, that is, a sexual interaction involving multiple sexual behaviors and orgasms and lasting from 5 minutes to 4 hours or more. Thus, an episode would count as one sexual interaction. A new episode would begin only when a clear-cut break in sexual contact occurred--such as a 2-hour nap or time out to vacuum the floor. These preliminary findings suggest that evidence gathered using heterosexist terms such as "intercourse" as a generic cue may lead to inaccurate conclusions about lesbian behavior.

Awareness of the inadequacy of the cultural script for describing lesbian sexuality opens the door for inquiry concerning how adequate the script is for describing heterosexual women's sexuality, as well. Equating "having sex" with intercourse may not entirely be justified for heterosexuals, either. Sanders and Reinisch (1999) reported that almost all heterosexuals surveyed equated intercourse with "having sex" but that penile-anal intercourse and oral-genital contact also would classify as "having sex" for 81% and 40%, respectively. In addition, unpublished data from a focus group I conducted with heterosexual women indicated that all agreed they would not count unreciprocated oral sex performed by them on a man as having sex. Thus, assumptions about sexual behavior based on cultural scripts may be inaccurate for both lesbians and heterosexual women.

Cultural scripts also may be implicated in the uneven use of sexual measures within a population. For instance, heterosexuals and gay men--but not lesbians-- were asked about anal sex in several studies (e.g., Bell & Weinberg, 1978; Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983; Laumann, Gagnon, Michael, & Michaels, 1994), even though previous research reported that many lesbians engage in it (Jay & Young, 1979). Laumann et al. (1994) reserved questions about vaginal stimulation or penetration for heterosexual couples. Last, behaviors commonly practiced by lesbians such as tribadism (e.g., "grinding," "body rubbing") also typically have been omitted from mainstream sex research.

In sum, research on sexual aspects of lesbian relationships points to the importance of developing a new, more complete catalog of sexual behaviors that are derived from women's experience and perspectives across sexual orientation. Questions about oral sex, anal sex, manual genital stimulation, female orgasm, and multiple orgasm need to be asked routinely, regardless of the sexual orientation of the participants. Behaviors that apply more often to lesbian practices, such as tribadism, should be assessed as well. In addition, consideration should be given to what women define as constituting a sex act or behavior. Heterosexual women as well as lesbians would be better served if focus groups or open-ended questions were used in research to learn what various sexual behaviors mean to the individual.