Dubious Achievements 2005

Contributors: Brian Frazer, Matt Haber, Tim Heffernan, Justin Heimberg, David Jacobson, Daniel Radosh, and Stephen Sherrill.

AND ANOTHER $50 BILLION FOR THE DEVELOPMENT OF A GROUP CALLED "THE BEATLES" NASA announced it will spend $104 billion on a project that will send astronauts to the moon.

ACTUALLY, WE'RE GONNA GO WITH "MR. SPEARS" Kevin Federline is attempting to launch a hip-hop career by recording a debut album. Among the lyrics released for preview was the line "Back then they called me K-Fed, but you can call me Daddy instead."

DON'T KARE American Idol winner Fantasia Barrino revealed in her memoir that she is functionally illiterate and had to fake her way through some scripted portions of the show.

ALSO, THOSE FIVE PEOPLE YOU MEET IN HEAVEN? MORE LIKE TWO Detroit Free Press sportswriter Mitch Albom wrote a column fabricating a description of former Michigan State players watching their alma mater's NCAA tournament game in the stands. Albom filed the column before the ...