KIND WORDS FOR INFINITUS SPLITICUS

Not long ago a pained letter came from a high school senior in a Midwestern state. At her earnest request, she remains nameless and stateless. She wrote:

"In an assigned editorial about the war in Iraq, I wrote that 'President Bush would like nothing better than to quickly find a way to bring most of the troops home.' Miss Begotten ringed 'to quickly find' and gave me a point off for the S.I., the Split Infinitive. Please tick her off."

Many months have passed since we last discussed the Infinitus Spliticus in this space. Let us revive this old bete noire and order him back to his cave. A split infinitive is the familiar construction in which a modifier -- usually an adverb -- is inserted between the "to" and the operative verb. Here the supposed offense against grammatical tradition was "to quickly find." (I assume the intended thought ...