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Infertility: help for couples trying to conceive
Ebony, August, 2005 by Tracey Robinson-English
YOU know her as "Big Dee Dee Thorne," the wisecracking mom on UPN's hit television comedy Half & Half. In several episodes she's a symbol of motherhood, showing television viewers that a pregnant woman over 40 can be popular and attractive.
The dramatic irony is that actress Valarie Pettiford, who portrays "Big Dee Dee," is still waiting her turn to play her most important role as a mother in real life.
"I didn't only want to play a mom on TV," she says. "I need to be one."
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Her overwhelming desire to experience motherhood led Pettiford, 45, and husband/manager Tony Rader, 43, on a five-year, heart-wrenching journey that involved numerous visits to infertility specialists, as well as high physical, emotional and financial costs. The couple already has spent more than $100,000 on out-of-pocket medical expenses. They are now considering an egg donor.
"It's been a journey I wouldn't wish on anybody," Pettiford says. "There were times I just wanted to die--the drugs, the hormones and the weight gain. Every time I got that negative news [that she didn't conceive] ... it's been devastating.
"I felt so isolated and alone," she continues. "It's difficult to talk about, but I want other women out there to know that they are not alone; there is support."
Pettiford and Rader are among thousands of couples who are struggling with infertility, which is defined as a couple's inability to conceive after one year of sex without using birth control. Medical advances and a few headline-grabbing births by women past their prime reinforces the notion that women have plenty of time to bear children. That is usually not the case.
A woman's fertility peaks in her late 20s and then gradually declines from her mid-30s into her 40s as her egg supply ages and diminishes. This process makes it difficult to naturally conceive, medical experts say. At the same time, a woman's risk of miscarriage increases.
"Between ages 35 and 40, there's an accelerated loss of eggs," says Gail Jackson, M.D., an obstetrician-gynecologist in Beverly Hills. "There's nothing magical about 40. The loss already has occurred."
Invasive procedures such as in vitro fertilization (IVF) or the use of donor eggs may be the only options left. "Of course, we all know of a 47-year-old aunt or friend who had a baby," says Maurice Butler, M.D., an infertility specialist in Washington, D.C. "It's the exception."
"When you see those celebrities in their 40s and 50s having babies, what they're not telling you is that they more than likely had a donor egg," adds Robert Collins, M.D., a certified reproductive endocrinologist in Youngstown, Ohio. Dr. Collins, who is the former head of infertility at the prestigious Cleveland Clinic, owns the only independent full-service reproductive clinic in the area.
Today, one in five women in the United States is having her first child after age 35, medical studies show. One in six women of reproductive age has sought medical help to become pregnant. The trend toward women delaying parenthood is contributing to a rise in infertility and related problems such as endometriosis, fibroid tumors and declining ovarian function, Dr. Collins says.
Among Black women, 30 to 35 percent have fibroids, though the causes are uncertain. As women age, fibroids and other health issues may become troublesome and impair conception.
"What we are seeing today is in sharp contrast to what we saw 10 to 15 years ago worldwide," Dr. Butler explains. "As women develop more options and more independence, they delay marriage and pregnancy. Beyond the peak years, there are many issues that may arise."
"I've seen so many of my women colleagues who are now in their 50s without children," Dr. Jackson adds. "They missed that short window of opportunity to have children. I now talk to young women early, while they're in their late 20s and early 30s, about making a decision to have children. I advise them to get into the right relationship leading to marriage so they can get on the path to childbearing by their mid-30s."
And, just as important, let's not overlook the male factor. A man's sperm count decreases with age although fertility may not be affected. Infertility also may be caused by some hormonal changes (in men and women) that are treated with medications. In addition, there may be physical problems with the reproductive organs that require surgery. In 10 percent of infertile couples, no cause sex partners and obesity increase the risks of infertility.
"Obesity is an underappreciated factor," she says. "It can cause problems such as irregular periods or hormonal imbalances that may affect a woman's ability to conceive."
Staying healthy isn't necessarily a safeguard against infertility, cautions Dr. Butler, who sees a number of in fertility patients who were convinced that they would have no problems bearing children as they got older as long as they exercised and did not smoke or drink. "The ovaries are still aging," he explains. "The ability to produce healthy eggs is decreasing. That's the problem."
