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UFOs Sink Mir into the Ocean while the Alien Choir Sings On
Skeptical Inquirer, July, 2001 by Robert Sheaffer
Finally someone has figured out the real reason that the Russians have ditched space station Mir into the ocean: to help keep the lid on the Great UFO Cover-up. UFOlogist Andy Lloyd explains that "NASA and the U.S. Government want to steer clear of space tourism in a very, very big way" (www.ufos-aliens.co.uk/cosmicmir.html). Therefore, the U.S. government pressured the Russians into sinking Mir because "Space tourists are far more likely to honestly describe what they're seeing and experiencing in orbit. In other words, their presence in orbit would bring unauthorized and uncontrolled civilians into direct contact with what many of us believe is happening up there. They will tell the world about the anomalous activity that routinely seems to 'buzz' our space platforms in orbit. Perhaps they will return with photos and camcorder images. Such access to the events fleeting glimpsed on secret NASA transmission would become a major tourist attraction, and blow the lid off the whole UFO phenomenon." Aha, now we un derstand!
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As if this were not exciting enough, a photographer has captured on film an entire "alien choir," looking for all the world as if they were singing Christmas carols. Accordiing to Alien Abduction Experience and Research, "This photograph shows a group of six aliens standing on a garage roof in Alabama. The aliens are facing in one direction towards a hovering ball of light, from which another alien appears to be descending (see www.abduct.com/photos/pn007.htm). This September 29, 2000, photograph was taken after the witness saw a movement and heard a sound like 'hummiing electric lines.' Having seen and heard UFOs before, the witness knew to take a picture," which is very fortunate-had the photographer not had such keen UFO knowledge, he might have concluded that alien choirs were an everyday occurrence. The "choir" looks like a blurry photo of someone's lighted outdoor display of Christmas carolers. Unfortunately for science, "the name and address of [the] photographer are being withheld."
Joseph Trainor's UFO Roundup relays a Reptoid sighting from a Mexican UFO group. Two policemen were reportedly on patrol near the thermoelectric plant in Rosarito, Baja California, at 3:17 one morning when "they saw what appeared to be a reptilian creature walking on the beach with a black suit on and with glaring red eyes." That would bring the creature quite close to the U.S. border, and it will be interesting to see if the glowing creatures being sighted throughout the Baja can pass through U.S. Customs. Unfortunately, the incident is reported to have taken place on February 29, 2001, which causes us to have some doubts about it. Trainor also tells us of some strange goings-on at Concordia College in rural Moorehead, Minnesota: "Hoyum Hall, one of the girls' dorms at Concordia, appears to be home to a colony of Reptoids." Supposedly it has been nicknamed "Reptoid Hall" because of the many creatures allegedly reported there, dating back to the 1980s, although the name "Hokum Hall" might seem more appropria te. Unlike the Mexican ETs, these creatures apparently do not glow, but they have reptilian skin, only three fingers, and like to play pranks on women in varying states of undress.
Back on Mars, the most recent "anomaly" to be reported in the Mars Online Gazette is a supposed "Manta-Wing Aircraft" that seems to have gotten itself snared in a Martian sand dune. See www.electricwarrior.com/mol/Mars OnlineGazett.htm for more information. But on Earth, Malin Space Science Systems, which operates the cameras on the Mars Global Surveyor spacecraft, has released a new set of high-resolution images of the Cydonia region, which represent all images taken thus far (see www.msss.com/mars_images/moc/01_31_01_release s/cydonia/index.html). The "Face on Mars" doesn't look anything like a face in the latest images, but that won't stop anyone from trotting out the same tired old claims.
In San Leandro, California (near Oakland), the Wizard Brewery has come up with an out-of-this-world brew--Crop Sector Ale, "the highly unusual beer made from crop circle barley." It is harvested from the fields of Alton Barnes, East Field, England, where allegedly extraterrestrial crop circles are said to turn up all the time. According to the advertising flyer, the brewer found that this malted barley possessed some remarkable properties, so he sent it off for analysis to the Malting Science Division at the University of California--Davis. Supposedly they found it was high in selenium, which when mixed with the chromium in brewer's yeast created a mix that was too strong to ferment correctly. The proportions of the mix have now been adjusted correctly to account for extraterrestrial influences, and the result is said to be that "with all the energy from the beginning of the grain through the brewing process, we know this new style ale is sure to please even the most skeptical amongst us!" I'll drink to that .
Unfortunately, knowledgeable sources are now warning that this year's tourist season for crop circle watchers may be hampered, if not eliminated, by the farmers' very legitimate concerns over foot-and-mouth disease. With this highly communicable livestock virus, capable of being carried on the shoes or clothing of unsuspecting persons, many farmers are understandably unwilling to have hordes of strangers tramping through their fields, even if they do pay a couple pounds apiece for the privilege of gawking at circles trampled out by hoaxers the night before. If this year the British economy suffers the loss of income not only from raising cattle, but from crop circle tourism as well, it will be a serious blow indeed.
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