If you think your family’s screen habits are hard to control, you’re not alone. The new Pew Research Center survey of more than 3,000 U.S. parents of children 12 and under finds that boundary-setting is inconsistent, confusing — and a source of widespread frustration, even for the sizable share of parents who use so-called parental controls or think they are already doing an excellent job setting rules for their kids’ technology use.
Most parents say they have rules, but far fewer follow through on them. (Pew reports 86 percent have screen-time limits, but only 55 percent say they usually follow them.) Forty-two percent acknowledge that they could be doing a better job, and 33 percent say they are stricter than others.
What the new Pew data says about kids and screens
Love-hate relationship: for kids, screens are everywhere. Pew reports 23% of parents have a child under 13 in their household with a smartphone — that figure rises to 57% for children ages 11 and 12. But 68 percent of parents say kids should be at least 12 to have their own phone, and 46 percent think smartphones do more harm than good for children ages 12 and younger.
Why give a phone to a preteen anyway? Ninety-two percent report that keeping in touch is the biggest reason. By contrast, 88 percent are concerned about exposure to inappropriate content — a fear that mirrors years of headlines about algorithms feeding young users mature or duplicitous material.
Phones aren’t the only battleground. TV continues to be the primary medium at 90%, followed by:
- Tablets (68%)
- Phones (61%)
- Game consoles (50%)
- Computers (39%)
- Smart speakers (37%)
- Smartwatches (11%)
- AI chatbots (8%)
YouTube rules kids’ media diets: 85% of parents say their children watch at least occasionally, and 51% say it’s daily. The other social platforms are way lower — 15 percent TikTok, 8 percent Snapchat and 5 percent each for Instagram and Facebook.
Context is everything: research on tweens and teens conducted separately by Common Sense Media finds that these young people now spend more than five hours a day (tweens) and eight hours a day (teens) watching entertainment screen media, not including time spent doing schoolwork. In other words: once screen habits become ingrained, they’re very hard to uproot as a child gets older.
Why setting limits on screen time is so difficult
The contemporary attention economy is designed to triumph. It’s why technologies like infinite scrolling, autoplay, streaks and push alerts are all employed to keep users — especially young ones — engaged. That’s human, and parents are taking a stand against products that fight back.
School, friendships and extracurriculars also reside online, smudging the lines between “good” and “excess” time on the screen. Even parents admit their own challenge, with 65 percent saying they spend too much time on their phones and 47 percent admitting to spending too much on social media. But when adults are tethered to screens, consistent modeling is harder.
What pediatric and media experts recommend for families
Pediatricians emphasize planning over policing. The American Academy of Pediatrics advises families to establish a written media plan that includes setting daily schedules, device-free zones and clear expectations. Consistently, experts emphasize quality of content rather than volume and suggest that parents co-view with younger children to help teach media literacy.
Age-based guidance can anchor decisions. The AAP recommends no screen media (other than video chat) for children under 18 months, only a limited amount of high-quality programming accompanied by an adult for ages 2 to 5, and thoughtful, individualized limits on screen time for older children. That argument has been made again and again by investors, analysts and users who do not want their feeds tampered with — but it underestimates the real risk for mental health that social media can create for young people (especially in relation to sleep, attention and body image), necessitating consistent, age-appropriate guardrails.
Tech tools and policy efforts to support screen limits
Parents have tools, but kids frequently work around them. Apple’s Screen Time and Google’s Family Link can help set app timers, block content and schedule downtime. On the other hand, Pew’s data indicates that rules work only as well as their enforcement — and as durable as a pouty tween.
Many parents seek more far-reaching support: 67% believe tech companies should do more to assist with setting limits, and 55% want government intervention. Privacy laws such as the Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act prevent data collection from users under age 13, while a number of states have proposed or passed legislation for age verification or youth protections on social platforms. Those proposals come with contentious trade-offs in safety, privacy and access — and some have touched off platform responses that affect entire regions.
Practical steps that stick for calmer screen routines
Make rules predictable and visible. Families that put up a basic media plan — bedrooms free of phones, devices docked at night in the kitchen or outside, no screens at mealtimes — also report fewer daily battles. Friction-light routines beat ad hoc negotiations.
Consider readiness, not just age. Some families begin with a “borrowed, not owned” option: They provide a basic phone or smartwatch for calling and texting only; then other apps can be slowly added as they demonstrate responsible usage. Co-create rules with kids for greater buy-in and revisit them as school demands and schedules shift.
Make content the conversation. Leverage supervised experiences on video platforms, turn off autoplay if you can, and have kids explain what they are watching and why. Short, frequent check-ins work better than one-off crackdowns.
The thread throughout the Pew findings is reassuring: that struggling doesn’t necessarily mean failing. With reasonable schedules, better defaults from tech companies and evidence-based advice from pediatric experts, families can reset expectations and tap the power of screen time to serve kids — not the other way around.