I'm With the Brand - Humor - Column

Chester Jones

17 Poppy Lane

Santa Cruz, Calif.

March 19, 2001

Acquisitions Editor

NetBusiness Books

New York, N.Y.

To the dude it may concern:

The long, strange trip we all called the new economy is now at an end, even before anyone figured out how it began. Some say it started with Netscape's P0. Others say it goes all the way back to Apple. One thing's for sure: It began in the San Francisco Bay Area with weird guys wearing sandals. They put on one hell of a road show. And everyone got hopped up on Kool-Aid.

But I'm not talking about Jim and Steve; I'm talking about Jerry and Bobby. Garcia and Weir. As in the Grateful Dead. Not only the best band ever, but the best brand ever.

So in the grand tradition of my personal management bible, Make It So: Leadership Lessons From Star Trek: the Next Generation, I'd like to propose I Need a Miracle: Everything I Know About the New Economy I Learned From the Grateful Dead.

For four years I was CR0 (chief relaxation officer) of PlantPlanet.com, a New York-based online horticulture delivery service. (I started it with my college buddy limbo, and we gave each other groovy titles just for kicks!) We ran it out of Jimbo's VW bus near Washington Square Park, but business really exploded when we started offering encryption to ensure customer privacy. Now I'd like to share the secrets of my success.

Basically, I just followed the Dead.

Who's gonna buy this book? Dude -- who isn't? The Dead's fan base is as broad as the spectral variations of the aurora borealis -- from frat-boy rockers to baby boomer execs. These days, the suits are as likely to be wearing hemp fiber as worsted wool. And whether they're wired in the new economy or still truckin' through the old one, they'll want this book to show them the way.

CHAPTER 1: FREE LOVE

Long before Netscape built a business by giving away software, the Dead let fans tape shows and trade bootlegs, figuring it'd make up the difference in concert tickets. This chapter outlines how to secure loyal customer base by developing your own "straight from the mixing board" marketing strategy. I found most of my customers by giving away free samples.

CHAPTER 2: EXPAND YOUR MINOSHARE

The new economy is all about building brand awareness. Too many dot-coins blew their bank accounts on Super Bowl ads. Instead of thinking globally, act locally. The Dead always spread its message with merchandise: cool Tshirts and now even American Beauty skis ($345). My customers remembered me because I created additional revenue streams (like my Wild Mushroom Risotto) to promote my core business.

CHAPTER 3: BARTER HARDER

EBay built a business by automating a many-to-many market that sells hand-crafted goods, rare records and vintage clothes. Big deal -- you could haggle for the same stuff at Dead concerts. I always accepted payment in kind.

CHAPTER 4: GETTING ON THE LIST

The new economy is all about building relationships. To do that, you need to keep track of your core users. The Dead started building a fan database in 1971. I kept a list of my good customers and called them whenever a new shipment of product came in. Eventually I traded the list to the Man for a groovy cabin and a chance to start over in Santa Cruz.

If you decide to publish this, please change my name on the front cover.

COPYRIGHT 2001 Standard Media International
COPYRIGHT 2001 Gale Group