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Industry: Email Alert RSS FeedA multimethod exploration of the friendships of children considered socially withdrawn by their school peers
Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology, April, 1999 by Barry H. Schneider
The problematic nature of social withdrawal during childhood and adolescence has become evident in recent studies (Bruch & Cheek, 1995; Kagan, Gibbons, Johnson, Reznick, & Snidman, 1990; Rubin & Asendorpf, 1993). Nevertheless, little systematic attention has been devoted to determining whether individuals who display social withdrawal in a given social context - often the classroom - experience similar difficulties in other settings. It has been found in previous research that the social interactions of withdrawn children reflect their familiarity with the individuals they encounter in the immediate setting (Asendorpf & Meier, 1993). There may be certain social situations in which otherwise withdrawn youngsters are so comfortable that their tendencies for reticent behavior are attenuated to a considerable extent. Interactions with close friends may be one such condition.
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Several features of the friendship context may lessen the discomfort otherwise felt by withdrawn children in settings where social interaction is required. The dyadic nature of relationships with friends may deflect some of the uneasiness that withdrawn children feel in larger groups. Consistent with the well-established principle that individuals select friends who resemble themselves (Aboud & Mendelson, 1996; Kupersmidt, DeRosier, & Patterson, 1995), children who are withdrawn in large group settings may befriend others with similar behavioral profiles, perhaps cultivating a relationship in which there is diminished demand for social interaction. In selecting their friends, they may make overtures only to peers whom they know to regard them positively, and not to peers whose opinions they either do not know or suspect to be ambivalent or negative. This would enable them to circumvent the fear of negative evaluation by peers that is central in many theories pertaining to problematic social withdrawal (Buss, 1984; Rubin, Stewart, & Coplan, 1995). In any event, in contrast with the largely involuntary circumstances that lead to membership in classroom or neighborhood groups, the selective nature of friendship makes it possible for a withdrawn child to form a close relationship with peers who accept their shy, reticent behavior.
Even the relatively comfortable confines of dyadic friendships, however, place demands on the communicative competence of children. A modicum of initiative and communication is required in order to find friends in the first place. The maintenance of a close friendship also requires continuous communication of various kinds. Friends must communicate the very basis of their relationships, be it the sharing of common interests, the expression of intimacy, the mutual support, or whatever holds the particular friendship together (e.g., Berndt & Perry, 1986; Bukowski, Hoza, & Boivin, 1994). Resolution of the conflicts that are inevitable in any relationship requires friends to communicate in order to minimize harm to their relationship (Hartup, 1992). Given these demands for communication within friendship, it is conceivable that forming and maintaining friendships of high quality may constitute a formidable challenge for withdrawn children, despite the aspects of the dyadic context that may make it easier for them to relate with others in dyads than in larger groups, as discussed earlier.
Impoverished communication within intimate relationships may also be consistent with many withdrawn children's internal working models for relationships. Children who have experienced insecure early attachment bonds with their parents may "shrink from their social worlds" (Bowlby, 1973, p. 203), which they regard as unresponsive and unsafe (Rubin et al., 1995; Sroufe, 1983). Insecure attachment with parents in early childhood has indeed been linked with problematic social withdrawal in studies by Sroufe, Fox, and their colleagues (e.g., Fox & Calkins, 1993; Renken, Egeland, Marvinney, Sroufe, & Mangelsdorf, 1989; Sroufe, 1983). It is possible that the sequella of early attachment problems are more manifest in close, intimate relationships than in less intensive contact with classmates and acquaintances.
Continuities between the large-group peer context at school and the dyadic context of friendship have been debated extensively in the recent literature on children's peer relations, but not with a specific focus on withdrawn children. The most comprehensive study of this issue was conducted by Parker and Asher (1993), who determined that many children who were not well-accepted by their classroom peers did have close friendships, though these friendships were somewhat inferior in quality to those of other children. George and Hartmann (1996) also established that the friendships of unpopular children are less stable than those of their well-accepted counterparts. The lack of previous research devoted specifically to the close friendships of children who are withdrawn in their classroom or community settings is unfortunate, because friendship has been linked to adjustment in general (Ladd & Kochenderfer, 1996; Newcomb & Bagwell, 1996) and may offer distinct advantages for withdrawn children, who may be better able to derive companionship, assistance, and support from friends than from members of the larger peer group.