Bites of passage: what you need to know when your teen goes vegetarian - includes list of resources

For Renee Walker 14, the most traumatic part of moving from Manteca, 200 miles north to Redding, Calif., was passing the cattle trucks she knew were headed for the slaughterhouse. She'd cry whenever she saw a truck, although her mother tried to persuade her that she didn't really know where the cows were going. But Renee was sure. "I just saw them and I'd think, those animals are going to get killed--and that upset me," she says. Settled into her new home, Renee declared herself a vegetarian, lost 15 pounds in one month, and sent her mother Maureen, 41, a full-time homemaker, into alternating states of worry and admiration. Was there something seriously wrong with Renee, she wondered? Was Renee acting out the emotional distress of moving at such a sensitive age? And what, exactly, does a teenage vegetarian eat?

The scene at the Walker household--teen-age daughter declaring a new and potentially inconvenient ethic; concerned mother responding as best she can was more common that either of them knew. Nationally, among teens--especially girls--the vegetarian trend is well-established. According to a 1997 survey by the Teenage Resource Group, a marketing research firm based in Northbrook, Ill., 36 percent of teen-age girls--which is more than twice the number of boys--consider being vegetarian "in." About 4 percent of all teens, the majority of them girls, actually sustain a vegetarian diet. These numbers have held steady for the last three years.

In most cases, a teen's decision to become a vegetarian marks a significant personal transition, and as Maureen Walker soon discovered, is certain to spark lively discussions, temporary discomfort and a series of unexpected adjustments within the family--especially for mothers. In many situations, however, that individual evolution can also lead to celebration, cooperation and life-long positive changes for the whole family.

THE TRUTH BEHIND THE TREND

What's fueling the trend toward teen-age vegetarianism? Most girls are drawn by animal-rights issues. For 15-year-old Alice Grattan, an award-winning student athlete in her Rochester, N.Y., high school, a graphic description of the fate of farm horses published on the internet sealed her decision. "I think the killing of animals is unnecessary," she says. "There are so many other places to get nutrients." Fourteen-year-old Lindsey Alexander, a Chapel Hill, N.C., high school student, was influenced by a brochure she read from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), a nonprofit organization based in Washington, D.C. She can't imagine eating animals and she says that most of her girl friends are vegetarians too. "I think we have the same values so we ended up becoming friends," she explains.

Armed with this kind of information and emotional certainty, many teens have made their decisions long before their parents are aware that steak dinners are being avoided or leather Reeboks are being sent into early retirement. "Lindsey just very quietly became a vegetarian," recalls Lindsey Alexander's mother Janice, age 48, an interior designer. "She didn't announce it. She backed into it." But from Lindsey's point of view, the transition was much more dramatic. She recalls leaving a tuna sandwich that resided uneaten in her school locker for three weeks. Tiffany Wyand, 14, Renee Walker's friend from Redding, Calif., also describes her more direct approach with cinematic intensity. "One night my mom put chicken in front of me," she says gravely, "and I just said, `I'm not eating it.'"

NOURISHMENT VS. NURTURING

For many mothers, such scenes are often an unwelcome surprise. "There are a lot of desperate mothers out there, when their kids go vegetarian," observes Tiffany's mother, Teresa, a part-time florist. When Tiffany proclaimed that she was a vegetarian, Teresa, 44, was dumbfounded: She'd never met a vegetarian and she'd never heard of tofu. "I thought, what is Tiffany going to eat?"

Aside from being in the dark about what exactly comprises a vegetarian diet, many parents worry that their daughters will miss out on essential nutrients. "Most parents are concerned about their kids' health," says Judy Krizmanic, author of A Teen's Guide to Going Vegetarian (Puffin Books, 1994). "That's the first thing." Parents frequently focus on whether their teen is getting enough protein and iron, she says. When Lauren Lebrecque, 18, opted for a vegan diet five years ago, her mother's first concern was calcium. Judy Lebrecque, 48, a teacher in Leicester, Mass., had visions of her 13-year-old suffering premature osteoporosis. "I was really upset," she admits. Meeting with vegetarian dietitian Carol Coughlin, R.D., who was a neighbor and joining a local food co-op eased her fears.

ULTERIOR MOTIVES

Exacerbating these nutritional concerns are nagging worries that maybe this change of diet isn't really about saving the animals after all. Maybe it's a front for an eating disorder. Some teens regard vegetarianism as a convenient cover for anorexia, says Jon Sherman, Ph.D., a psychologist at the Northwestern University Medical Center's Eating Disorders Program in Chicago.