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The Great Chupacabra Conspiracy
Skeptical Inquirer, March, 2001 by Robert Sheaffer
For or about the last year, Chile and other South American countries have suffered a veritable blitz of chupacabra attacks, the supposed ferocious "goat suckers" that torment Hispanic farmers and ranchers, but never trouble those from other cultural backgrounds. Joseph Trainor's UFO Roundup from the U.K. informs us (www.ufoinfo.com/roundup/v05/rnd05_21.shtml) that, the newspaper Cronica of Concepcion, Chile, reported that not only were the chupacabras up to their usual tricks, but that they appear to be at the center of a sinister conspiracy. In fact, a whole family of the fierce little devils were reportedly captured-a Daddy Chup, a Mommy Chup, and a tiny little Baby Chup- "and were delivered to agents of the USA's FBI agency which arrived at Calama from Santiago [where the American federal police have an office in their embassy]. The creatures quietly would have been taken to the USA," where I suppose they were carried away to Area 51.
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In Nicaragua, rancher Jorge Luis Talavera apparently shot one of the elusive chupacabras on August 25, 2000. The wounded creature staggered off, but its remains were discovered three days later and delivered to the Universidad Nacional Autonoma de Nicaragua (UNAN) in Leon. This caused great excitement among cryptozoologists and UFOlogists, only to be deflated when a short time later the university announced that the remains were that of a dog. However, local residents are outraged, insisting that university officials must have switched the genuine chupacabra remains with that of a dog. Dr. Edmundo Torres, vice chancellor and director of scientific research at UNAN-Leon, denies that any such thing was done, but he is assumed to be part of the conspiracy. Talavera claims to have sighted a second chupacabra, but this one is only "about the size of a Pekinese dog," which would make it all the easier for the scientists-in-cahoots to switch the body of this genuine fierce creature with that of a yappy, spoiled pup .
But some serious-minded investigators seek to initiate a scientific study of chupacabras and raise it above the level of ridicule. With this aim, Dr. Virgilio Sanchez-Ocejo of the Miami UFO Center has given the alleged creatures the "scientific name" of "hemo predator." His Web site at http://bloodpredator.homestead.com contains details on the recent major sightings. It contains photos of animals that have supposedly been killed by chupacabras, and supposed tracks of the beast. You can even listen to a simulation of the Blood Predator's fearsome cry. One intriguing hypothesis suggested on the Web site is that the chupacabras may actually be "alien pets."
But Chupacabras are not the only strange creatures running about that scientists are too closed-minded to accept. According to a recent BBC news story (http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/world/asiapacific/newsid_1059000/10 59099.stm) no less a personage than Princess Rangsrinopadorn Yukol of Thailand claims to have seen, and even filmed, long-haired elephants (said to be related to woolly mammoths) that have secreted themselves in a remote part of that country. But Dr. Preecha Puangkam, an expert on elephants, said after viewing the film that it shows only ordinary elephants, and he even identified the herd captured on film. But this has not deterred a band of intrepid explorers, including the Princess, who have set off into the wilderness to stalk the woolly Thai neo-mammoths. We wish them the best of luck.
This column recently reported on the mysterious, fast-moving "flying rods" that are being reported from many places (SI March/April, 2000, p. 20). MUFON's Eastern Director George A. Filer reports (http://ufoinfo.com/filer/2000/ff_0039.shtml) that one of these critters was apparently captured and killed with bug spray. According to Filer, Chuck Rogers of Bethlehem, Pennsylvania, inadvertently captured a rod in his home, which tried to escape. "Apparently it was caught inside a grocery bag in his sink and started to thrash until it flew swiftly out of the bag. Barely visible, it flew into the next room where his lab is located and hit the foam tile ceiling a few times. Sulfur powder was in the lab and used to control parasites on their dog. He spotted the flying rod and sprayed insect spray at it and didn't see it for a while. He spotted a diaphanous, transparent, and obviously immobile (dead) object in the sulfur powder. When he touched the object, it disintegrated into the powder." Since the remains of the c reature in the powder have apparently not been saved, the loss to science is incalculable.
Filer adds, "Periodically we receive reports of flying objects that appear to be something like flying transparent jellyfish, caterpillars, or rods. They have been videotaped and appear to come in various sizes from a few inches long to ten feet or more. They seem to have hundreds of wings that propel them through the sky. Science does not seem aware of them, but we obtain a steady stream of these reports. We urge anyone to attempt to capture them for scientific analysis. Assuming these reports are accurate we may have discovered a new life form. Sometimes they appear to have light-making ability similar to lightning bugs."
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